As most of you know today was the funeral for Shimon Peres. I feel like I can't even give him a title, because he has held (almost) every job here. I watched the first hour and a half of the funeral on a live feed, which oddly enough I could only access from the website of the Atlanta Jewish newspaper. So thanks to that random newspaper for a good feed.
It was a fascinating thing to watch. So many dignitaries that I recognized and lots that I didn't recognize. And as a friend and I assessed, probably every single ear piece (and sunglasses) that Israel owns was at that funeral today.
I saw a few awkward moments between heads of nations and spotted Prince Charles wearing the most awesome kippah out of all of the Christians there :-)
But what really stuck out for me from what I saw, was the way everyone spoke about Peres. To me, the best speaker was actually current President Ruby Rivlin. I really don't know much about him at all. But what I really liked was the way he was seemingly addressing Peres. He kept looking over to the coffin as he spoke. And even though I did not understand everything that he was saying I understood enough. (thank you ulpan) One thing that he said that really was poignant was that now Peres is being returned to the land that he has always loved so much.
And actually everyone who spoke, spoke not only of the many accomplishments of Peres, but also of how he was always looking ahead. I don't remember who said it, but it might have been former President Bill Clinton, who said that Charlie Rose was once interviewing Peres and asked him what he would like his legacy to be. And Peres said that he is not worried about his legacy, but about what will be in the future. Perhaps one day his hard work and dreams of peace will come to fruition.
Friday, September 30, 2016
Thursday, September 29, 2016
Moment in history and the beat goes on
You know how sometimes you know something but you sort of don't believe it. Like today, (well, now it's yesterday) I woke up and found out that Shimon Peres had passed away. I knew he had been very sick and I knew that he was very old. But he just seemed like he would always sort of be there. There isn't much that I can say that would be appropriate for this occasion. He was a great man and of course, as is usually the case, today I learned more about him due to his death, than I ever knew about him during his life.
Now the flip side. Change of topic. The chagim are coming and that doesn't stop for anything really. Today I decided that since ulpan ended early, I would attempt a quick supermarket run before I had to get the little guy from school. All of you Israelis who are reading this are laughing at me. But hello, it was 11:30am on a Wednesday. And I am an experienced shopper and I had a small list. (because I've already conquered online supermarket shopping here).
Anyway, I can barely find a spot to park. Get to the market, buy a few new fruits, and I need to stop at the cheese counter. That's right. A full kosher cheese counter. It's as delicious as you are imagining. I see only about 4 women in line, so I think, great no problem. But as I get closer I hear a few of them fighting, or perhaps just speaking really loudly with unhappy faces. So, skip the cheese counter, because I'm on a schedule here. Also, really, let's not fight over cheese. It's too delicious.
Okay, moving on, the store is packed with food. Yes there are people but that isn't the issue. There is so much food in preparation for the chagim. You have to sort of frogger your way across the store and avoid the trolleys of food. I get what I need and head to the checkout. And that's when the success ended. I felt like I was on candid camera. It was like time slowed down while the person in front of me checked out. Seriously, I got significantly older while in that line. It the good news is, I have totally mastered the questions I know they will ask me at checkout. Except when they ask me stuff like, how many rolls in this bag? (because yes, you buy fresh rolls and they cost basically nothing) And darn it if I don't give the wrong number every time. Not the wrong number of rolls but the wrong gender. Like, why yes, Shemona instead of Shemoneh. Because clearly the number of items is either masculine or feminine. Oy.
Now of course, a kid update. Featured kid of this week is the first born. As stated earlier, or if you know him, you know that he is obsessed with the guitar and rock n roll. He wants to be a rock star. Okay, his parents hope that maybe he will be a rock star on the side and a paying job during the week, but he has time to figure that out. Anyway, he comes from school on Tuesday and says, "I made the band and there is a performance tomorrow night." Okay then. We had a bar mitzvah to attend, so we went to the bar mitzvah, left to go and see his band and then went back.
I am so proud of how he just jumped in there and got into the band. And even though he plays the guitar, they needed a bass player so apparently now he plays the bass. He was so excited and did not seem nervous at all. Selfie or it didn't happen!
So we are back at the bar mitzvah and we tell him to either take the bus or walk home, since it was unclear when his event would end. Even though if we were still in NJ, there is no way I would tell him to walk home at 10:30pm. So he waited for a bus, and an out of service bus apparently picked him off and dropped him off at the bus stop near us. I wasn't even worried. Look how much I am maturing!!!!
Meanwhile, today after school, my girls went to some shopping center to have ice cream with friends. They just went from school and will eventually figure out how to get home. I guess only one kid still needs me for transportation, and soon he will hopefully also be able to ride the city bus to and from school. Winning!!!!
Now, a final Israeli moment of the day. Because you knew I would have another one. Someone in my ulpan class is learning to play the harmonica as a way to de-stress. Although honestly, I practice my French phrases on her and the amount that she laughs should be enough of a de-stressor, but that's neither here nor there. So she brought it today and played it for the class. I think I mentioned here that I know a freakishly huge number of songs. So one of the songs she knows is BaShanah HaBa'A, which we all knew. Then she starts another and my teacher says, "nu Arielle, sing." What is she playing???? Hafinjan! one of the most random songs to ever appear in the bentchers we used growing up. That's right, picture me singing this while a beginner harmonica player plays it and you have your daily laugh. You're welcome. Good thing I love the people in my class.
HAFINJAN
Now the flip side. Change of topic. The chagim are coming and that doesn't stop for anything really. Today I decided that since ulpan ended early, I would attempt a quick supermarket run before I had to get the little guy from school. All of you Israelis who are reading this are laughing at me. But hello, it was 11:30am on a Wednesday. And I am an experienced shopper and I had a small list. (because I've already conquered online supermarket shopping here).
Anyway, I can barely find a spot to park. Get to the market, buy a few new fruits, and I need to stop at the cheese counter. That's right. A full kosher cheese counter. It's as delicious as you are imagining. I see only about 4 women in line, so I think, great no problem. But as I get closer I hear a few of them fighting, or perhaps just speaking really loudly with unhappy faces. So, skip the cheese counter, because I'm on a schedule here. Also, really, let's not fight over cheese. It's too delicious.
Okay, moving on, the store is packed with food. Yes there are people but that isn't the issue. There is so much food in preparation for the chagim. You have to sort of frogger your way across the store and avoid the trolleys of food. I get what I need and head to the checkout. And that's when the success ended. I felt like I was on candid camera. It was like time slowed down while the person in front of me checked out. Seriously, I got significantly older while in that line. It the good news is, I have totally mastered the questions I know they will ask me at checkout. Except when they ask me stuff like, how many rolls in this bag? (because yes, you buy fresh rolls and they cost basically nothing) And darn it if I don't give the wrong number every time. Not the wrong number of rolls but the wrong gender. Like, why yes, Shemona instead of Shemoneh. Because clearly the number of items is either masculine or feminine. Oy.
Now of course, a kid update. Featured kid of this week is the first born. As stated earlier, or if you know him, you know that he is obsessed with the guitar and rock n roll. He wants to be a rock star. Okay, his parents hope that maybe he will be a rock star on the side and a paying job during the week, but he has time to figure that out. Anyway, he comes from school on Tuesday and says, "I made the band and there is a performance tomorrow night." Okay then. We had a bar mitzvah to attend, so we went to the bar mitzvah, left to go and see his band and then went back.
I am so proud of how he just jumped in there and got into the band. And even though he plays the guitar, they needed a bass player so apparently now he plays the bass. He was so excited and did not seem nervous at all. Selfie or it didn't happen!
Meanwhile, today after school, my girls went to some shopping center to have ice cream with friends. They just went from school and will eventually figure out how to get home. I guess only one kid still needs me for transportation, and soon he will hopefully also be able to ride the city bus to and from school. Winning!!!!
Now, a final Israeli moment of the day. Because you knew I would have another one. Someone in my ulpan class is learning to play the harmonica as a way to de-stress. Although honestly, I practice my French phrases on her and the amount that she laughs should be enough of a de-stressor, but that's neither here nor there. So she brought it today and played it for the class. I think I mentioned here that I know a freakishly huge number of songs. So one of the songs she knows is BaShanah HaBa'A, which we all knew. Then she starts another and my teacher says, "nu Arielle, sing." What is she playing???? Hafinjan! one of the most random songs to ever appear in the bentchers we used growing up. That's right, picture me singing this while a beginner harmonica player plays it and you have your daily laugh. You're welcome. Good thing I love the people in my class.
HAFINJAN
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Music connects us to each other
So my last blog post wasn't that thrilling (except the part where the coca cola wished you a happy holiday) because life has been just semi normal. Well, good news for you, the last two days have been eventful, but in good ways.
Sunday starts out as a normal day. School, ulpan, etc.. Then at night, there was a program at the girls high school. It was for mothers and daughters only so I had to go it alone without the hubby. We begin the night with a little mother daughter Torah learning in their classroom. That was nice, or at least what I understood. One girl was reading and discussing and one girl was not. You can guess who, but since their personalities change every other minute, don't even bother.
Then, the event continues outside, because again, it's not going to rain so why not? Plus their school has an amphitheater outside. FYI, if you are my height do not try to climb the amphitheater steps where you are supposed to sit. Use the tiny steps on the sides. Trust me on this one.
So we go outside and immediately my girls run away from me. All I could think was, "oh great, here I am at a school where I know maybe two people and I don't even see them. My girls are gone and I am not confident enough to walk up to someone and try speaking in Hebrew. No thank you." But then, something great happened. I stopped thinking about me and looked for my girls. And they were having the best time. They were weaving in and out of the crowd with a whole group of tweens just like them. They were laughing, being goofy and eating cake with their hands. Because, I guess that's normal??? They just seemed so happy. And isn't that what we all want for our kids? To see them happy? Of course we are happy to be here, but we always worry about our kids. Are they happy, are they sad, do they have friends, are they stressed, etc... But at least at this moment I knew that we chose the right school and we are in the right place.
And now on a lighter note. After a speech by the principal (during which I was totally following her story, looked away for a second and then couldn't understand the ending) the school had this amazing singer who really got the crowd going. It took about two minutes for a group of older girls to jump down from the amphitheater (they must be tall) and begin dancing. And shortly after that, the younger girls joined in. Until eventually, there was this. I was only able to catch a few seconds of my current #1 favorite Israeli song, but instead I caught the fun that the girls were having.
Sunday starts out as a normal day. School, ulpan, etc.. Then at night, there was a program at the girls high school. It was for mothers and daughters only so I had to go it alone without the hubby. We begin the night with a little mother daughter Torah learning in their classroom. That was nice, or at least what I understood. One girl was reading and discussing and one girl was not. You can guess who, but since their personalities change every other minute, don't even bother.
Then, the event continues outside, because again, it's not going to rain so why not? Plus their school has an amphitheater outside. FYI, if you are my height do not try to climb the amphitheater steps where you are supposed to sit. Use the tiny steps on the sides. Trust me on this one.
So we go outside and immediately my girls run away from me. All I could think was, "oh great, here I am at a school where I know maybe two people and I don't even see them. My girls are gone and I am not confident enough to walk up to someone and try speaking in Hebrew. No thank you." But then, something great happened. I stopped thinking about me and looked for my girls. And they were having the best time. They were weaving in and out of the crowd with a whole group of tweens just like them. They were laughing, being goofy and eating cake with their hands. Because, I guess that's normal??? They just seemed so happy. And isn't that what we all want for our kids? To see them happy? Of course we are happy to be here, but we always worry about our kids. Are they happy, are they sad, do they have friends, are they stressed, etc... But at least at this moment I knew that we chose the right school and we are in the right place.
And now on a lighter note. After a speech by the principal (during which I was totally following her story, looked away for a second and then couldn't understand the ending) the school had this amazing singer who really got the crowd going. It took about two minutes for a group of older girls to jump down from the amphitheater (they must be tall) and begin dancing. And shortly after that, the younger girls joined in. Until eventually, there was this. I was only able to catch a few seconds of my current #1 favorite Israeli song, but instead I caught the fun that the girls were having.
You know, just a regular old selichot party :-)
One more addition to my thoughts about being out of my comfort zone. As I was sitting there alone listening to the speeches and feeling a bit like a deer in the headlights (spot lights because I chose a bad spot) all of a sudden they had this fabulous singer begin the entertainment. And right away, I knew the song and I thought. Okay, so maybe I am not going to go and strike up a conversation in Hebrew with a stranger yet. But, I know this music, so now I can be a part of the crowd. You need to check out the singer because she was amazing, really really great. This next video does not do her justice.
My final thought on music for now. There is one Israeli song that I am basically obsessed with. Here is the link; prepare yourselves because it is awesome. Every time I hear it on the radio, I am immediately in a better mood. I also embarrass my kids by dancing in the car. In other news, here in the land of miracles, today I said to one child, let's turn on the radio and hope that this song is on. Miracle, it was just starting. So he got a full three minutes of me dancing while driving.
Okay, I am finished with the links for now. Just one final picture of the three girls at the school event.
What else is new. Well, the little child went on his first school tiyul. Even though he is in the ulpan, they join the regular class at his school for gym and music and trips and such. So he went to Yerushalayim (Jerusalem) to Ir David (the City of David) and the Kotel and I am not sure where else. He is a man of few words when you try to get information; otherwise he can talk and talk. But success, he went on the trip, with the required hat, 2 liters of water, sandals for the water in the tunnels, and of course, the Israeli tradition that I was just told about, snacks. Not just snacks. Junk food for all trips.
Oh, more music news? (you knew I couldn't stop) eldest child has joined the school band and apparently there will be a show. I am so proud of him for jumping in and just trying out and getting a spot. More on that after the show.
And the final update from Israel. We now have two licensed drivers in the house. It's like we are 16 and 20 all over again!!!! Maybe I should start showing my kids pictures of us from college again?Success!
Okay fine, one last (for real this time) thought for the day. I love music, and even though I don't have a good voice, I sing anyway. I think my ulpan teacher either loves me or hates me. Because half of the new words I learn, I then connect to a song I know. Which often ends up with me and another student singing a song. Sometimes the teacher laughs and sometimes she tells us to get back to work. But I have a song in my heart and it wants to come out!
Saturday, September 24, 2016
Do I really live here?
Well, the good news is that nothing too crazy has happened to me this week. The bad news is that meant I did not have much to blog about. Ha! Well, actually, someone did refer to Donald Trump as Ronald Tramp, so that was pretty funny. Made me feel better about my many mistakes with pronunciation (which oddly enough, is a hard word to pronounce).
Only in Israel moment of the week: while shopping in the market, I see that instead of Santa on the bottles of coke that I'm used to seeing, here in Israel, the soda wishes me a happy holiday, in Hebrew. And not a Santa to be seen.
On to the fun stuff. I might have possibly mentioned (basically to everyone I know) that all of my kids were going away on an overnight with scouts. It's also possible that in my ulpan class, each time we have to write a story or speak in class my sentence always began with something related to this trip. So basically, my whole ulpan class knew that my kids were going away and that I was going to the beach for one day. Did I mention that? We planned a 19 hour getaway! It's not that we don't love our children. We really do. It's just that we also sometimes like it when we have three minutes to ourselves. (or 1140 minutes in this case)
And before you comment on the glam sunglasses. I decided that since I'm moving to a hot and sunny country, it's time to buy real prescription sunglasses. They weren't actually necessary for this photo but I might have left my regular glasses behind in the car which was really far away. And if you're wondering what are all of those people doing behind us?? Well, they are doing yoga of course! On this cool platform 80 steps about the beach. And I know how many steps because we went up and down exactly 100.
So anyway, the kids went camping at Masada with the scouts, had a blast, climbed Masada, had some ceremonies, ate a bunch of food, returned home in one piece and were all thrilled. They all had a great time. I am so proud of them. Not only have we moved to a new country, with a new language, and a new culture, but we sort of tossed them into activities. They have mostly been pretty gung-ho about it all, but some were nervous to go on an overnight. But look kids, mama had plans to go to the beach so you were getting on that bus!
Now, let's return to the important part of this story. I drive to Tel Aviv to pick up my other half. We'll I've never driven in Tel Aviv but use driven in Manhattan. It's sort of similar except I have no idea where I'm going, I'm listening to the news and I don't understand a lot of it, the streets are really narrow and the elements trick bikes and motorcycles arw zip ingredients past me. But luckily, I still have the little black tic tac, so it was all good.
We went to the beach in Herziliya. I've never been there before, but a few people recommended it. If you save all of you shekels, I recommend it as well. It was amazing. Sometimes (almost all of the time) I forget that I'm living so near to paradise.
Only in Israel moment of the week: while shopping in the market, I see that instead of Santa on the bottles of coke that I'm used to seeing, here in Israel, the soda wishes me a happy holiday, in Hebrew. And not a Santa to be seen.
On to the fun stuff. I might have possibly mentioned (basically to everyone I know) that all of my kids were going away on an overnight with scouts. It's also possible that in my ulpan class, each time we have to write a story or speak in class my sentence always began with something related to this trip. So basically, my whole ulpan class knew that my kids were going away and that I was going to the beach for one day. Did I mention that? We planned a 19 hour getaway! It's not that we don't love our children. We really do. It's just that we also sometimes like it when we have three minutes to ourselves. (or 1140 minutes in this case)
And before you comment on the glam sunglasses. I decided that since I'm moving to a hot and sunny country, it's time to buy real prescription sunglasses. They weren't actually necessary for this photo but I might have left my regular glasses behind in the car which was really far away. And if you're wondering what are all of those people doing behind us?? Well, they are doing yoga of course! On this cool platform 80 steps about the beach. And I know how many steps because we went up and down exactly 100.
So anyway, the kids went camping at Masada with the scouts, had a blast, climbed Masada, had some ceremonies, ate a bunch of food, returned home in one piece and were all thrilled. They all had a great time. I am so proud of them. Not only have we moved to a new country, with a new language, and a new culture, but we sort of tossed them into activities. They have mostly been pretty gung-ho about it all, but some were nervous to go on an overnight. But look kids, mama had plans to go to the beach so you were getting on that bus!
Now, let's return to the important part of this story. I drive to Tel Aviv to pick up my other half. We'll I've never driven in Tel Aviv but use driven in Manhattan. It's sort of similar except I have no idea where I'm going, I'm listening to the news and I don't understand a lot of it, the streets are really narrow and the elements trick bikes and motorcycles arw zip ingredients past me. But luckily, I still have the little black tic tac, so it was all good.
We went to the beach in Herziliya. I've never been there before, but a few people recommended it. If you save all of you shekels, I recommend it as well. It was amazing. Sometimes (almost all of the time) I forget that I'm living so near to paradise.
So yes, it was crazy expensive. But also, it was awesome. Just to be able to drive forty minutes and have a beautiful hotel, amazing views, water, beaches and a selection of kosher restaurants is amazing. And since we are talking about food. Wow. We got some good advice on where to go (you know who you are) and it was the perfect choice. Do you like meat? If so, do I have the place for you!
And something unexpected. Our hotel stay included breakfast. Now, usually when we stay at a hotel that includes breakfast, the only kosher items are cereal and coffee and sometimes hot chocolate. But we are in Israel. So our hotel was kosher. So we had about fifty choices of breakfast foods. We didn't know where to look first. So yeah, food here is not an issue.
What is an issue is that now I'm like, wait.... I live here now and I can travel around Israel whenever I want. I mean, I won't be staying at a fancy hotel that often but we can do youth hostels, kibbutz guest houses, etc... Wow, I need to start planning the next getaway.
Except I don't, because my cool neighborhood has planned it for me. Did I mention that they apparently travel together?
Monday, September 19, 2016
No rest for the unlicensed
I hope you have some time because Oh boy, this is a long one. Basically I felt like today's blog post was writing itself. It was sort of surreal.
I start off my day as usual. Tale kids to school, stop at home for my fancy coffee from my "free" coffee machine. (see earlier blogs) and then I head to ulpan. I spent four plus hours in ulpan, having a very exciting dialogue with a classmate about sapphire vs ruby jewelry. Now, today is Monday and that is when one child, who requires a ride home, stays late for a club. So today was my day to do stuff. Unpack more boxes now that I have some shelves, cook, clean, sit on the sofa, whatever.
Five minutes after I arrive home, I get a call from my driving instructor that I can take the test in ten minutes. Now, I might add that she was speaking to me only in Hebrew. I was answering her in a mix of Hebrew and English. Then she seemed to also be speaking on a another phone, but in Hebrew only. I finally said, my Hebrew is not great, so she said, okay, I'll speak to you in English. But not really, because she kept saying stuff in Hebrew. But it's pretty easy to understand, this is my shot to take the test.
Ummmm okaaaaay. What the what????? No warning, just get your you know what over here, I have a free slot. So, I head over, praying not to get lost. I am very very directionally challenged. Thank goodness I'm in the land where waze was born.
I arrive, hang out with the teacher while we wait for the testing guy, who probably has some official name. He gets in the car with me and my teacher is in the back. I warn the tester that my Hebrew isn't great. He says, no problem. Left, right, that's it. Except that wasn't it. I'm driving. I have no idea where he wants me to go. He and the teacher spent the whole lesson in some heated discussion. It was unclear if they were arguing or discussing or yelling. It's all kind of the same. So, I randomly say stuff like, ימינה? שמולה? איפה?? (right left, where?) He replies in between said discussion. Ps, he didn't speak to me in English once.
I survive the test, (but they don't tell you if you've passed or failed) and we return to where we began. My teacher gets out to speak with the other teachers or whoever was there, and I stayed in the car. In between them all speaking and hanging out, someone brings out a big Tupperware of grapes and offers them around. Because we wouldn't want anyone to be hungry :-)
Great. Now I am told I need to go to the post office and pay them some money and get a form. Except I have zero cash. Like, I own three quarters. But I have three ATM cards so I'm like, cool, I'll go and get cash and take care of that. ATM card #1 is expired. ATM card #2 refuses to accept my pin#. And ATM card #3 is my Israeli card and I can't find my password that they gave me. I tried three ATM machines. I even braved the mall again after last week's drama. Which of course, you can read about in my blog.
So I'm on the phone with citibank in the USA, who tells me, yep, my card is expired and they sent me a new one. I'm like okay, I'm holding the new one. Well, they have a newer new one and they will send it to me.
I go home and ransack my pile of papers searching for my Israeli bank pin. I don't find it but I do find my newest newer ATM card. So I call citibank again to tell them I found it, please make sure it's active, etc...
I head to get the kids and try a new ATM. This one will not accept my card because it has a chip. Ps, I was told we needed the chip in Israel. Okay fine. I guess it's an old ATM. At this point I'm exhausted. I haven't eaten lunch at 4pm and I'm cranky. I head home and give up for the day.
I take the kids to Taekwondo and decide to look again and lo and behold, I find my Israeli pin number. Woohooo, finally. I go to the atm, insert my Israeli card, the machine doesn't like my pin and it eats my card. I mean, it just kept my card after flashing some angry Hebrew message at me. So there I am, standing at this atm machine and talking to it. Like, what just happened? Is this a joke???
I called Jon and I said you had better get some cash near your office because I'm not having a good day. I'm having a comical day, but a frustrating day.
Meanwhile, I get a text that I passed the test. Which should make me happy, but at this point I'm so confused about the whole ATM situation.
Finally, I am rescued by my sugar daddy who arrives home with cash. We all go (well, five of us go because we can't all fit into the tic tac car) to the post office after dealing with the rodeo in the parking lot. We meet the most pleasant postal worker ever (for real, she was super nice and patient at 7:30pm) and take care of that. We even managed to buy stamps because apparently one of children has already written a letter and it's been waiting for a stamp.
Head home, make dinner, get most of the kids to bed then head to my "garden" to drink wine out of a coffee cup, while some child did homework inside. Did I mention that I bought a two pack of wine at the hardware store last week for 29 Shekel? Because obviously the hardware store sells wine before the chagim.
In conclusion. I passed my driving test. I do not have a functioning ATM card which means I have to go to my bank again. In Israel, sometimes you can buy wine at the hardware store because, hello, Rosh Hashanah is coming!
I start off my day as usual. Tale kids to school, stop at home for my fancy coffee from my "free" coffee machine. (see earlier blogs) and then I head to ulpan. I spent four plus hours in ulpan, having a very exciting dialogue with a classmate about sapphire vs ruby jewelry. Now, today is Monday and that is when one child, who requires a ride home, stays late for a club. So today was my day to do stuff. Unpack more boxes now that I have some shelves, cook, clean, sit on the sofa, whatever.
Five minutes after I arrive home, I get a call from my driving instructor that I can take the test in ten minutes. Now, I might add that she was speaking to me only in Hebrew. I was answering her in a mix of Hebrew and English. Then she seemed to also be speaking on a another phone, but in Hebrew only. I finally said, my Hebrew is not great, so she said, okay, I'll speak to you in English. But not really, because she kept saying stuff in Hebrew. But it's pretty easy to understand, this is my shot to take the test.
Ummmm okaaaaay. What the what????? No warning, just get your you know what over here, I have a free slot. So, I head over, praying not to get lost. I am very very directionally challenged. Thank goodness I'm in the land where waze was born.
I arrive, hang out with the teacher while we wait for the testing guy, who probably has some official name. He gets in the car with me and my teacher is in the back. I warn the tester that my Hebrew isn't great. He says, no problem. Left, right, that's it. Except that wasn't it. I'm driving. I have no idea where he wants me to go. He and the teacher spent the whole lesson in some heated discussion. It was unclear if they were arguing or discussing or yelling. It's all kind of the same. So, I randomly say stuff like, ימינה? שמולה? איפה?? (right left, where?) He replies in between said discussion. Ps, he didn't speak to me in English once.
I survive the test, (but they don't tell you if you've passed or failed) and we return to where we began. My teacher gets out to speak with the other teachers or whoever was there, and I stayed in the car. In between them all speaking and hanging out, someone brings out a big Tupperware of grapes and offers them around. Because we wouldn't want anyone to be hungry :-)
Great. Now I am told I need to go to the post office and pay them some money and get a form. Except I have zero cash. Like, I own three quarters. But I have three ATM cards so I'm like, cool, I'll go and get cash and take care of that. ATM card #1 is expired. ATM card #2 refuses to accept my pin#. And ATM card #3 is my Israeli card and I can't find my password that they gave me. I tried three ATM machines. I even braved the mall again after last week's drama. Which of course, you can read about in my blog.
So I'm on the phone with citibank in the USA, who tells me, yep, my card is expired and they sent me a new one. I'm like okay, I'm holding the new one. Well, they have a newer new one and they will send it to me.
I go home and ransack my pile of papers searching for my Israeli bank pin. I don't find it but I do find my newest newer ATM card. So I call citibank again to tell them I found it, please make sure it's active, etc...
I head to get the kids and try a new ATM. This one will not accept my card because it has a chip. Ps, I was told we needed the chip in Israel. Okay fine. I guess it's an old ATM. At this point I'm exhausted. I haven't eaten lunch at 4pm and I'm cranky. I head home and give up for the day.
I take the kids to Taekwondo and decide to look again and lo and behold, I find my Israeli pin number. Woohooo, finally. I go to the atm, insert my Israeli card, the machine doesn't like my pin and it eats my card. I mean, it just kept my card after flashing some angry Hebrew message at me. So there I am, standing at this atm machine and talking to it. Like, what just happened? Is this a joke???
I called Jon and I said you had better get some cash near your office because I'm not having a good day. I'm having a comical day, but a frustrating day.
Meanwhile, I get a text that I passed the test. Which should make me happy, but at this point I'm so confused about the whole ATM situation.
Finally, I am rescued by my sugar daddy who arrives home with cash. We all go (well, five of us go because we can't all fit into the tic tac car) to the post office after dealing with the rodeo in the parking lot. We meet the most pleasant postal worker ever (for real, she was super nice and patient at 7:30pm) and take care of that. We even managed to buy stamps because apparently one of children has already written a letter and it's been waiting for a stamp.
Head home, make dinner, get most of the kids to bed then head to my "garden" to drink wine out of a coffee cup, while some child did homework inside. Did I mention that I bought a two pack of wine at the hardware store last week for 29 Shekel? Because obviously the hardware store sells wine before the chagim.
In conclusion. I passed my driving test. I do not have a functioning ATM card which means I have to go to my bank again. In Israel, sometimes you can buy wine at the hardware store because, hello, Rosh Hashanah is coming!
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
Humility in a parking lot, Humor at Back-to-School night
I know that some people have been asking about my next post. I was saving it for today, because I knew that I had two back to school nights coming up and there was sure to be some juicy gems in there. But first, I must begin with what just happened to me (it ends well, so don't stress)
I go to meet a friend for breakfast. I had a day off from ulpan today and she had the time, so finally, we were able to hang out. We have a lovely breakfast, something I always wanted to have in the USA. (PS, NJ needs more kosher breakfast options, or, everyone should just move here).
Anyway, it's all good, then we have to leave because apparently our kids get out of school really early every single day. She has an errand and I also have an errand in the mall. I am supposed to drop off a paper with the water company that has an office at the mall. She tells me the floor to go to, I get out of the elevator and all I see are medical clinics. I walk around with my water paper, past the women's clinic, orthopedic clinic, diabetes clinic and 14 bathrooms or so. But, no offices. I give up and go back down. Only now, I am at a different exit and I cannot figure out what happened. So I go outside, go back through security (no, I am still not carrying a gun, but thank you for checking) and I re-enter the mall. I find my way back to my car underground, get out of parking spot and feel all confident. I should add that this is the first time that I drove to the mall all by myself and parked my car. Thank goodness I found a spot!!! (note that I am still driving the tic-tac)
So now I am leaving the mall. I have my parking ticket and i am holding it because I do not want to get honked at for holding up the line. I stick it in the machine so that it opens the bar to let me out. Except it won't let me out. It is yelling something at me which I finally realize means that I owe 6 shekels. I am desperate now, I see cars behind me. I finally get over my Hebrew speaking fear and ask some guy if I can pay here. He says no, I have to go back inside. Okay great, except about six cars (all with Israeli drivers) are behind me, so how exactly???? Like a boss (teenage kid slang) I put my car into reverse and make everyone else back up so I can return to the mall and figure out how to pay . It takes a while, a few dirty looks from people and a lot of pitiful looks from people, but I turn the tic-tac around, figure out how to pay and finally, (sof-sof) I stick in my ticket and the magic bar lifts and I am free from the mall.
I would like to point out that the last time this same friend and I went to the mall just to hang out together (circa 2006) I actually got locked in the parking lot because I did not have cash and the ticket booth did not accept credit cards. I will not go into that story, but let's just say I drove around and begged for money and wrote some random woman a check for her $5 in cash,
Back-to-School nights.
Girls
This past week, we attended two back to school nights. One was for the girls and one for the boy. At the girls school, we had to split up, since you know twins, etc.... So I go to one class and nightmare, we had to go around and introduce ourselves. At least I was not first. But even saying five words in a packed room of Israelis is not the way I want to start off a night of listening to Hebrew. Anyway, I survive that moment, thankfully. Next up, the teacher begins by showing us a short video clip. I immediately see Hebrew subtitles, so I think to myself, "Yes! This is in English so I will understand the movie and the subtitles are for everyone else." Well, the joke was on me, because the video was in Spanish with Hebrew subtitles. Oh joy! So okay, I understood half, between my Hebrew and my one semester of taking medical Spanish. Movie ends, then she gives a whole introduction to class, etc... I really could not follow because she was speaking so quickly. But she is very nice and that was enough for me.
At the end, she asks if there are questions. Now, I am a Back-to-School night veteran, and every year in NJ the same exact questions were asked. "why is there so much homework?" "how are you going to teach this?" "why can't we send this for lunch?" "how much time each night do they have to read, etc...." I expected the same in Israel. Nope. There were exactly two questions asked.
#1 - what is going on with the lockers? (apparently there was some sort of balagan, chaos, with how lockers are distributed. So this was followed by three more questions about the lockers. For those wondering, the Hebrew word for lockers is 'lockerim'. Okay, that gets sorted, sort of.
#2 - what is going on with the microwaves and can we just collect money and put one in this classroom? It seems to be cultural that every Israeli child has a hot lunch at school. Because I am sitting there like, who cares? My kids just take some food and eat it (or not). But the microwave (microgal in Hebrew) was the next hot topic.
Was even one question asked about the education??? Nope. And I am totally fine with that. The girls seem happy, their teachers seem lovely and eventually the girl will pick up the Hebrew and be independent in school. The goal here does not seem to be, sit down, be quiet and get good grades. What was repeated at every school so far was that they want to develop the whole person and not just the person who is the top of the class. And even as a perpetual student, I say, "Hooray for that!"
Boys
So, a similar event at the boys school. First, we all gather at the outside amphitheater. Because, you know, it will not be raining on back-to-school night, you can have outdoor events. The principal begins to speak and at first, I am following what he says, with Jon helping me along. Then all of a sudden, I just cannot follow anymore, and all I hear him talking about is blah blah blah, Facebook, blah blah blah, Facebook.
Okay, eventually I am able to start understanding some of what he is saying again. And I think the basic idea was that as parents, we spend so much money on cell phones and things like that for our kids. But instead, we need to spend time with them. Take them on trips, have dinner with them, sit with them when they are doing work, and let then know that they are not alone in this world. And at no point during his entire speech did I feel like he was just saying stuff just to say it. I really felt like he believed in it. Now maybe it was a language issue, but I liked what he had to say. Others who were there can continue filling me in on what was actually said.
Next, we head to the 9th grade class of our son. We had already met the teacher before school began. Anyway, he gives a little talk on what is going on in school, points out that we are new olim, announces that it s perfectly fine for the boys to eat and drink during class, as they are teenage boys and they are always hungry, etc... He gave a good speech, from what I could understand. He asks for questions. This time there is only one question.
#1 - what is going on with the microwaves and can we all donate money and buy one for the class. And because we are in Israel at a religious school, someone points out that we need to buy two. No questions about the education or anything. Like all Jews all over the world though, we are all worried that our kids will starve!!!
On the way out of the school, we were speaking to the teacher and he again reiterated that here in the school, they are concerned with each boy and that they develop into good people and it is not just grades and stress. Jackpot!
Overall, an eventful few days, good reports on our big kids, our little kid seems like he is fitting in just fine. And some exciting news. The kids are going on a scouting overnight!!!! Is that too many exclamation points???
Humility in a parking lot, Humor at Back-to-School night
I know that some people have been asking about my next post. I was saving it for today, because I knew that I had two back to school nights coming up and there was sure to be some juicy gems in there. But first, I must begin with what just happened to me (it ends well, so don't stress)
I go to meet a friend for breakfast. I had a day off from ulpan today and she had the time, so finally, we were able to hang out. We have a lovely breakfast, something I always wanted to have in the USA. (PS, NJ needs more kosher breakfast options, or, everyone should just move here).
Anyway, it's all good, then we have to leave because apparently our kids get out of school really early every single day. She has an errand and I also have an errand in the mall. I am supposed to drop off a paper with the water company that has an office at the mall. She tells me the floor to go to, I get out of the elevator and all I see are medical clinics. I walk around with my water paper, past the women's clinic, orthopedic clinic, diabetes clinic and 14 bathrooms or so. But, no offices. I give up and go back down. Only now, I am at a different exit and I cannot figure out what happened. So I go outside, go back through security (no, I am still not carrying a gun, but thank you for checking) and I re-enter the mall. I find my way back to my car underground, get out of parking spot and feel all confident. I should add that this is the first time that I drove to the mall all by myself and parked my car. Thank goodness I found a spot!!! (note that I am still driving the tic-tac)
So now I am leaving the mall. I have my parking ticket and i am holding it because I do not want to get honked at for holding up the line. I stick it in the machine so that it opens the bar to let me out. Except it won't let me out. It is yelling something at me which I finally realize means that I owe 6 shekels. I am desperate now, I see cars behind me. I finally get over my Hebrew speaking fear and ask some guy if I can pay here. He says no, I have to go back inside. Okay great, except about six cars (all with Israeli drivers) are behind me, so how exactly???? Like a boss (teenage kid slang) I put my car into reverse and make everyone else back up so I can return to the mall and figure out how to pay . It takes a while, a few dirty looks from people and a lot of pitiful looks from people, but I turn the tic-tac around, figure out how to pay and finally, (sof-sof) I stick in my ticket and the magic bar lifts and I am free from the mall.
I would like to point out that the last time this same friend and I went to the mall just to hang out together (circa 2006) I actually got locked in the parking lot because I did not have cash and the ticket booth did not accept credit cards. I will not go into that story, but let's just say I drove around and begged for money and wrote some random woman a check for her $5 in cash,
Back-to-School nights.
Girls
This past week, we attended two back to school nights. One was for the girls and one for the boy. At the girls school, we had to split up, since you know twins, etc.... So I go to one class and nightmare, we had to go around and introduce ourselves. At least I was not first. But even saying five words in a packed room of Israelis is not the way I want to start off a night of listening to Hebrew. Anyway, I survive that moment, thankfully. Next up, the teacher begins by showing us a short video clip. I immediately see Hebrew subtitles, so I think to myself, "Yes! This is in English so I will understand the movie and the subtitles are for everyone else." Well, the joke was on me, because the video was in Spanish with Hebrew subtitles. Oh joy! So okay, I understood half, between my Hebrew and my one semester of taking medical Spanish. Movie ends, then she gives a whole introduction to class, etc... I really could not follow because she was speaking so quickly. But she is very nice and that was enough for me.
At the end, she asks if there are questions. Now, I am a Back-to-School night veteran, and every year in NJ the same exact questions were asked. "why is there so much homework?" "how are you going to teach this?" "why can't we send this for lunch?" "how much time each night do they have to read, etc...." I expected the same in Israel. Nope. There were exactly two questions asked.
#1 - what is going on with the lockers? (apparently there was some sort of balagan, chaos, with how lockers are distributed. So this was followed by three more questions about the lockers. For those wondering, the Hebrew word for lockers is 'lockerim'. Okay, that gets sorted, sort of.
#2 - what is going on with the microwaves and can we just collect money and put one in this classroom? It seems to be cultural that every Israeli child has a hot lunch at school. Because I am sitting there like, who cares? My kids just take some food and eat it (or not). But the microwave (microgal in Hebrew) was the next hot topic.
Was even one question asked about the education??? Nope. And I am totally fine with that. The girls seem happy, their teachers seem lovely and eventually the girl will pick up the Hebrew and be independent in school. The goal here does not seem to be, sit down, be quiet and get good grades. What was repeated at every school so far was that they want to develop the whole person and not just the person who is the top of the class. And even as a perpetual student, I say, "Hooray for that!"
Boys
So, a similar event at the boys school. First, we all gather at the outside amphitheater. Because, you know, it will not be raining on back-to-school night, you can have outdoor events. The principal begins to speak and at first, I am following what he says, with Jon helping me along. Then all of a sudden, I just cannot follow anymore, and all I hear him talking about is blah blah blah, Facebook, blah blah blah, Facebook.
Okay, eventually I am able to start understanding some of what he is saying again. And I think the basic idea was that as parents, we spend so much money on cell phones and things like that for our kids. But instead, we need to spend time with them. Take them on trips, have dinner with them, sit with them when they are doing work, and let then know that they are not alone in this world. And at no point during his entire speech did I feel like he was just saying stuff just to say it. I really felt like he believed in it. Now maybe it was a language issue, but I liked what he had to say. Others who were there can continue filling me in on what was actually said.
Next, we head to the 9th grade class of our son. We had already met the teacher before school began. Anyway, he gives a little talk on what is going on in school, points out that we are new olim, announces that it s perfectly fine for the boys to eat and drink during class, as they are teenage boys and they are always hungry, etc... He gave a good speech, from what I could understand. He asks for questions. This time there is only one question.
#1 - what is going on with the microwaves and can we all donate money and buy one for the class. And because we are in Israel at a religious school, someone points out that we need to buy two. No questions about the education or anything. Like all Jews all over the world though, we are all worried that our kids will starve!!!
On the way out of the school, we were speaking to the teacher and he again reiterated that here in the school, they are concerned with each boy and that they develop into good people and it is not just grades and stress. Jackpot!
Overall, an eventful few days, good reports on our big kids, our little kid seems like he is fitting in just fine. And some exciting news. The kids are going on a scouting overnight!!!! Is that too many exclamation points???
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