Spying on your kids can pay off

Since my last posting,  nothing too earth shattering has occurred.  So that's the good news.  And in more good news,  I got the chance to go back to Jerusalem again.  A college friend was celebrating her son's bar mitzvah at the Kotel (Western Wall).  And since I live here now,  I decided to try and go.  And here in the land of miracles   it turned out that their son has a good friend who lives here and I was able to hitch a ride both ways.  Miracle,  because I was not too excited to ride the bus and no way am I driving into the old city.  No thank you very much.   The bar mitzvah was lovely and it was great to see an old friend (except neither one of us is old). And look,  I don't want to brag and make you all jealous.  But while at the kotel,  a bird left me some good luck on my jacket and head.  The land of miracles just keeps churning them out!

Since school is a recurring theme here (for everyone but the husband)  lets talk about school.  The little guy has been in an ulpan that our town runs,  for new olim children in elementary school.  So since September he has been in a class with kids of different ages,  all new olim from several different countries.  He has kids from France,  Sweden,  South Africa,  Australia,  America and I think New Zealand.  Well,  that ulpan is about to end.  And we have to choose a new school for him.  I alluded to this in my last blog.

Anyway,  we chose a school and signed him up.  But I don't think I mentioned a key piece of information.  When we took him to visit the school he had exactly one question.  Would you like to guess what it is??  Maybe think back to my old blog posting about back to school night at my kids high schools.  That's right.  He asked about the lockers. Yep, that's the only thing  he was curious about.  He has become Israeli.

But okay,  now I need to share with you the sweetest thing that happened.  Sorry if this embarrasses my kid.  Two nights before he started his new school,  the teacher called us to welcome us and to tell us what he needs to bring to school.  Then the day before he started,  he gets a phone call from a few boys that are in his new class.  They wanted to introduce themselves and meet him.

So,  the boys come over and give my child a little present with the sweetest note.  And they invited him to play soccer.  They all head to a park until dark.  After it gets dark  they all come back to my house and play a board game.  And as I'm  listening (spying)  from afar (the kitchen which was as close as I could get without joining their game)  I discover that none of them are English speakers.  That's right!  Finally finally I got to hear my youngest child speak in Hebrew.  I've been waiting!  PS he can speak Hebrew.  Just waiting for the accent to come in.

Fast forward to the next day.  Hubby walked him to the new school and took him into the classroom. (I might have been sleeping late)  He saw his new friends and apparently seemed happy.  And while that is the best part,  I have to share with you another best part.  His classroom had a sign on the door that they made for him and for the other new oleh starting that day.  They made the welcome sign in Hebrew for everyone,  in English for my child and in French for the new French speaking student.  Thank goodness I wasn't the one taking him to school because I definitely would have cried.  So special that they took the time to do that for the boys.  I'm hoping the new school goes as well for him as I hope it will.

We finished off the weekend with dinner at another neighbor's house (still love my neighborhood), and where we learned that Krembo has its own song,   the restarting of the parliament outside on shabbat and then NJ friends coming over after shabbat for a pizza gathering.  Busy times!

All in all,  a great week.  Oh,  and have I mentioned that the sky is beautiful here basically every single day?  The hubby and I have WhatsApp wars on who sends the best sky photo each day.  Except he has an amazing view from his office  and I'm  basically hanging out of my bedroom window taking pics.  At least we aren't competitive!

Reality.... And then my comical life

I guess I will start this one off with a topic I've been avoiding : Sad things

In the past few weeks I have been to the shiva house for two different people who both passed away way too young.  I try not to talk about these things because I generally try to be upbeat and optimistic,  but truthfully I've been thinking about it a lot.

And then there was the horrific terror attack with a truck just driving over a group of soldiers.  Just awful.

People have asked me if I'm scared.  I'm not scared.  I'm angry and sad when I think about that.  Just a senseless loss of life,  and for what? Listen.  Us Jews have been through a lot.  You aren't going to get rid of us.
——----———
And now  Happy Things!!!

I must begin with my coffee.  I generally make my own coffee at home because you might recall,  we received a "free"  fancy coffee maker for spending zillions of shekels on appliances.  But some of my ulpan friends and I met for coffee to "study"  and once again I'm obsessed with Israelis and their coffee obsession.  Plus,  one guy in my group bought us coffee,  so really it's even better!

Okay.  Back to my regular strange life.  Chanukah has been over for a while,  which means my kids packages from grandparents finally arrived.  Because the word snail mail doesn't even begin to describe the Israeli postal system.  It's more like amoeba mail.

Then we bought some new fancy furniture made of plastic.  A closet for our outdoor laundry room. If you need to know the weather,  just go outside and do some laundry.  For reals.  Today one kid did their laundry before school and then reported to the other which jacket they should wear to school today.  And then we got the smallest kid to help carry it because he was the only one home.

In exchange for this,  he moved into the box for three days.  That's right.  He put a blanket in it and spent every afternoon reading books inside of the box.  I couldn't find him after school one day and I called out,  where are you?  And I hear,  "I'm in my box." You might find this odd but this is perfectly normal in this house.

On January 1st,  Israel passed a law that all large chain grocery stores no longer provide free bags.  You need to either bring your own or pay.  So we received a few from the store with a cute little Hebrew rhyme on it.  I'm a sucker for a rhyme so of course I snapped a photo.

Then,  I had my ulpan oral exam.  I think I mentioned that I'm sitting for the exam that is a level above the class I am in.  Don't even ask  it's a long story.  But anyway,  lucky me went first for the exam.  And good news.  I passed the oral exam.  Now we wait for the written exam.  Eek!

Did our usual Friday breakfast out but took a different kid this time.  I think he was mainly in it for the hot chocolate because he wouldn't tell us much info.  Then we took him to visit a possible new school (his ulpan finishes shortly).  We liked the new school and signed him up.  Hopefully that will all go well.

Fast forward to one child attending yet another bat mitzvah,  kids cooking for some scout event,  and me obsessing over Israeli vegetables (they are kind of amazing!)

And finally,  attended parent teacher conferences for three of my kids.  That's seriously a lot of Hebrew.  Every teacher starts slowly and then just speeds up their Hebrew.  But I think I  got the main points.  I hope so.  Amazing how much ulpan helps.

In conclusion :
#1  Still trying to be optimistic
#2  Boxes are still good toys and homes
#3 Thank goodness my kids can cook so I'm  not stuck making cookies for their events at the last minute
#4 They can cook because I taught them Home Ec fairly intensively for the past two years
#5 Parent teacher conferences are basically the same everywhere
#6 Except I couldn't get Google docs to work in Hebrew so I had to sign up for conferences in English.  Hello new olim,  way to stand out
#7 Israeli food is the best,  planning to write a blog on that
#8 Sometimes after dealing with your day and a house full of teenagers you need a little snack
#9 I call this snack "OMG thank goodness I can easily buy kosher liquor here because I just finished this bottle.
#10 L'Chaim  לחיים

Chanukah part 3 and beyond

Finally  we have almost reached the end of chanukah.

Thursday of chanukah was a relaxing day.  I mean,  the laundry and dishes still need to be done.  But then Thursday night,  we (the adults)  attended our first wedding in Israel.  We carpooled with some camp friends (I say this as though we are fifteen,  but we are  actually all adults now!)  The wedding was beautiful, but so different than an American wedding.  In Israel,  everyone gathers around the chuppah in a scrum of sorts,  and then suddenly,  people start walking down the aisle and you just kind of part and make an aisle.  And it was outdoors in December.  A bit cold but a  beautiful setting.  It was so nice to be included in the Simcha of friends.  Definitely fun.

Friday we had a chanukah baseball game tournament.  The three younger kids play baseball here.  And FYI,  baseball in Israel doesn't help your Hebrew because mostly Americans play.  But anyway.  I finally got to see the kids play.  My girls are the only girls on their team and I was happy to see that the boys seem to treat them as equals.

Those are my people at 1st, 2nd and center 

So we drop them off and I go in search of coffee (of course).  Except the game was in a town near us that I had never been to.  After a fruitless search,  I call friends that live there (same ones we went to the wedding with)  to ask where to buy coffee.  She said instead to just come over and she would make us coffee.  She actually made us coffee and served us cake.  And she had bathrooms.  Bonus!!!!!

Okay,  on to shabbat.  Finally  we had dinner at my ulpan bestie's house.  We have been trying to get together for a while.  The boys went and davened (prayed)  at ancient Maccabi ruins.  Right?  That's not something you can do anywhere but here.  We had a lovely dinner with my friend and her family and her guests.

Before we went I reminded my kids to be friendly.  Sometimes at meals with people they don't know,  they either sit silently,  or they stand behind my chair and only talk to me.  I'm not a fan of either of those options.  Well,  I think maybe my youngest took my talk to heart a bit too much.  He seriously spoke to her guests for hours.  I couldn't make him stop.  It was like a one man show,  if that one man were 4.5 ft tall and had too much caffeine.  Oh boy.

And finally, the last night of chanukah won't disappoint you.  First we lit candles with the kids.  Not easy to get a good picture but I always try.

Then onto the adult fun.  Our neighbors apparently get together for an adult only chanukah party.  This year it was on the last night of chanukah.  I wasn't sure what to expect.  So I cooked the food I was asked to bring,  and went over.  Turns out that they play a trivia game.  You might remember that we also played a trivia game when we all went away together for shabbat.  That one was in Hebrew and by the time I understood the question,  I was way too late to answer.  But this time... The game was in English.  Yes,  the organizer was translating everything into Hebrew.  But hello.  Finally something in my language.  We started off pretty weak (okay fine,  I didn't recognize Donna Summer because I thought she was white!!)  but in the end,  these Americans won.  What did we win?????  Bragging rights and redemption.  Muuuuwahahhh!!
Oh yeah.  And we had fun with our friends.

On Monday everyone finally went back to school.  And I returned to ulpan.  We are preparing for our oral exam so I am super nervous.  Think good thoughts tomorrow because I'm the last one on the schedule to take the exam.

Tuesday there was a school strike.  So this is new to us (although not the first strike since we've been here).  So Leor stayed home while everyone went to school. (different unions)  At 8:45 am I found out via Facebook that his school would open at 9am. Ummm,  okay.  Good notice!  So I called him from ulpan and said,  get your bus pass because school is opening now!  He wasn't that thrilled.

Also on Tuesday in ulpan,  (when I  wasn't trolling Facebook for info on the strike) we went over our answers to some of the possible exam questions.  Such as  tell me about yourself in ten sentences or more?  What do you plan to do after ulpan?  Why did you move  here? Etc..  So I'm half listening to the answers of my classmates because I've heard it all before.  I think the teacher could tell that we were lethargic because she said that after our break,  she was going to be harder on us,  like the KGB.  Ummm,  okay then.  FYI,  KGB in Hebrew sounds really funny.

Okay.  I shall end this with a funny story half from ulpan and half from home.  Towards the end of the day yesterday we read a story about the history of Krembo.  Krembo is an Israeli snack food.  Or actually  it came from Denmark 200 years ago and made it to Israel 40 years ago.  That's right.  I'm now in the know about the history of Krembo.  It's like a cult food here. So we read the story and my teacher surprises us with Krembo to eat.  Except I hate Krembo so I saved mine for my wonderful hubby who still eats like a teenager.  

Then at dinner last night,  I read the story (in Hebrew of course)  to the family.  I stopped a few times to make sure they understood it.  Because one child speaks Hebrew constantly and three children have never uttered Hebrew in my presence aside from a word here and there.  So I don't know what they know.  Anyway,  then I get to the part of the story where it gives statistics on how people eat their Krembo.  When I read the line,  and x% eat their Krembo by putting it all into their mouth in one bite,  all of my kids started cracking up.

So there you have it.  They understand Hebrew.  That is my proof!!  That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Chanukah part 2, out and about (or, oot and aboot)

Okay,  so when I left off  we had completed one rainy day of vacation.  So now day #2 of vacation was even rainier.  But we decided to head to the Canada Centre which is an indoor ice skating rink.  My kids have been begging to go skating since we got here.  But living in a desert doesn't afford many opportunities for ice skating.

Anyway,  we begin the day by eating.  Because we can,  because there are so many kosher places to eat in Israel,  even way up north.  Basically,  the kids had their best breakfast ever.  Hot chocolate made from real chocolate,  and covered in whipped cream and colorful marshmallows.  And because Aroma gives you chocolate with every drink,  they also got a piece of gelt.  That's right.  Because it's Israel,  the chocolates are seasonal.  I love this!

Okay,  so we head to the Canada Centre,  drag out our bags of ice skating gear because of course we brought ice skates.  And trek through the rain to the entrance and can barely get in the door, because it's raining and everyone up north has decided to come.  My girls actually ran into a school friend who was there with her extended family,  aka two buses of people.  Oh boy!

Anyway,  we get in and it actually wasnt so crowded inside.  I think everyone just arrived at the same time.  To keep it short,  the kids went skating,  played ping pong and pool,  saw a 7D movie,  and did this race car game thing.  We didn't know that  you needed towels for the pool or reservations for bowling so we had to skip those.  (note to self.  When the check in guy starts talking really quickly  maybe ask a few questions)  But overall,  the kids had fun,  I was freezing,  and no one broke a bone.  Success!

So now it's dark and we decide to leave and try and do a glass workshop in tzfat.  But I have a genius idea first to take the kids to see the Good Fence.  You know,  the fence on the  border of Israel and Lebanon by Metullah where you can stand and take pics standing between the two flags????  Jon has never heard of this and I've been there at least four times.  We saw a sign  so we drove off to find it.

Note to everyone.  This is where Google would be your friend.  Because the first thing I said to myself was, "Hmmm,  I wonder if it still exists because Israel and Lebanon don't exactly have a great relationship these days."   People,  listen to your inner voice!  But no,  I  find the location on Google maps and we start driving.  We are inching along the border in the dark but we can't find it.  We loop around a few times and nothing.  So finally I Google and well, it closed down in 2000. So okay then. We didn't go and see it.  Oops!
Here is a map of our meandering drive.

Here I am at the good fence in 1995

Off to dinner in tzfat.  We go to this little dairy restaurant that was recommended and the food is delicious.  Everyone was happy and fed.  We were trying to do a glass workshop in tzfat but it was too late at night for us,  so that will wait until next time.  We headed back to our bed and breakfast place.
Finally,  day #3 has sunshine!!  We get up early and check out so we can finally  do something outdoors.  Jon has been wanting to see eagles,  so we head to  a nature reserve.  It's chanukah so we figure things will be crowded.  Let's just say,  we had plenty of space to nature watch.

At first we saw nothing and we were about to call it a day.  But then suddenly we spot a few eagles and then a group of ten of them.  Totally a worthwhile trip!  And since we are Israeli now, we have a national parks card so we can go to any of the many parks for free (well,  included,  not free but whatever).  We just flash our cool membership card.


Next stop,  DeKarina chocolate workshop.  We saw a movie and had a tour of the factory which was really cool.  The factory is actually tiny.  Then  we got to do a little workshop.  To be honest,  the workshop was kind of boring and too short.  But at least we got to taste the chocolate!  Everyone did come home with the chocolates they made so I didn't feel the need to purchase any.  My favorite chocolate (from looking at it,  I didn't taste it) was the Mt. Hermon chocolate.  It's a snow capped mountain of chocolate!

When that activity ended,  we started the long trek home.  Fed the kids doritos (also kosher here!)  and granola bars for lunch.  Because we are the best parents ever!!! (and we didn't want to stop).  We arrive home in Modiin for fifteen minutes just to unload the car and get winter coats.  And,  back in the car kids (I told you that this was like National Lampoons vacation) off to Jerusalem.

Okay,  so yes,  it is true.  Since we made aliyah in August we haven't taken our kids to Jerusalem yet.  Maybe that makes us terrible parents (add it to the list kids)  but the time has just gotten away from us.  First we didn't have a car,  then we didn't have a license,  and then life just got busy.  At least the boys went with their schools.

So we are  trying to see the candle lighting at the kotel and then the candle lighting at Mamilla.  Being the special people that we are,  we missed both.  First,  we enter the old city through the Jaffe gate as usual.  But then we started following people and suddenly we are on the longest route to the kotel ever.  Complete with cars driving making us smoosh up against the walls.  The old city isn't exactly designed for cars,  yet cars drive through it.

We make it through the long security line at the kotel,  visit the kotel,  look at the already lit chanukiah and then start to head back to Mamilla to catch that lighting.  There is no way I'm taking the long way back.  So we decide to hike it through the Arab shuk /market which is the most direct path.   One child was refusing to go that way but really had no choice.  Anyway,  it was fine.  And 144 steps later  we were back out at the Jaffa gate.

And finally,  I got to see what I've been waiting to see.  The light show on the old city walls.  I saw a video of this last year on a friend's Facebook page and ever since I've been waiting.  It was as cool as I had imagined.  I mean,  think about it.  A modern light show on the ancient city walls.  Pretty amazing.  I was definitely more into it than the kids,  but they indulged me.  We finally ended the day with some takeout back home in Modiin because Mamilla was way too mobbed to attempt to eat.  Overall,  a great vacation!

This has been a really long blog post so I  guess I will need a chanukah part 3! But I will leave you with this.
#1 chanukah is awesome here
#2 still haven't seen a Xmas tree
#3 I wish I could live in the north
#4 but I still love Modiin
#5 my kids and I have way different versions of a fancy place to stay
#6 the amount of food you can eat here is scary and delicious and hasn't lost the wow factor yet
#7 don't go searching for the Good Fence

Chanukah take 1

Okay,  finally we have arrived at Chanukah.

First outdoor Chanukiah

 Day #1 was right after shabbat
 So we did the yearly scramble to get out the chanukah gear and light candles and torture our kids with a few songs.  Traditions,  you know?  And then the great latke bake began.  Because making potato kugel for shabbat wasn't enough hand grating of potatoes.  Oh no,  we needed more.  Luckily I have a lot of kids so everyone got to (had to)  help.

Potatoes latkes and zucchini latkes were fried to perfection.  My house now smells like fried stuff and likely will for another few weeks.  But what matters is that everyone got their latkes.  PS,  zucchini latkes are delicious and way easier to grate  than potato.  Also,  I need a food processor for once a year.  But my mother thinks that's blasphemy.  I don't have space for one anyway so I'll tell myself I'm just teaching my kids an important skill.

After the kids were in bed,  we get a knock at the door.  It wasn't that late  but still odd.  I thought maybe it was Eliyahu HaNavi (Elijah the Prophet)  even though this is the wrong holiday.  Turns out it was one of my neighbors who requested that we take a family photo for them.  So Jon went over.  But it wasn't just their immediate family.  It turned out to be like fifty relatives. Which actually might be their immediate family.  Apparently Jon stood on a chair in the corner to get the photo.  I'm just glad it wasn't me.  Too much pressure to make sure everyone is looking at the camera.

Night #2 Friends came over for the second night.  But before I get to that.  We had an outdoor candle lighting on my street,  hosted by one neighbor.  The celebration was full of neighbors,  kids, rain,  donuts and a keyboard for musical entertainment.  I love my street and my neighbors.

After that  friends came over.  I sent my kids out to buy pizza for dinner.  Lucky for me  we have a pizza place about a two minute walk away.  And pizza is 20 Shekel.  We are big fans,  especially because the kids walk over, order,  and carry it all home.  Life skills!

The adults had fun catching up.  The kids did stuff,  not exactly sure what but it involved a lot of chocolate,  dreidles,  crayons and hide and seek.  No one was injured so it was all good.  Oh,  and of course one girl child and I decided to make cookies a few minutes before they came over.  Because why not?

Day #3 Headed out on vacation AKA,  National Lampoons Vacation!! 

 Because in Israel the kids are off for most of chanukah.  They only had school on the first day.  I had lots of great plans for what we would do on vacation.  Except I didn't exactly expect it to rain like a monsoon for days!  So then I was scrambling.

 Our visit to the Hula Valley to see birds   instead became,  let's sleep late and leave the house late.  Oh  and after stopping  for coffee,  let's come back home because someone forgot their ice skates (more on that later)  But it was all good  because we had a tour of the Golan Winery in the afternoon.  And while that might not sound thrilling it was really fun..  And we had wine.  And the kids had grape juice.

Dinner on day #3. This gets it's own paragraph.  Okay,  so we go to this place called Decks /Pagoda.  I have seen so many recommendations from people.  My advice
 Be prepared to pay a lot of money for very little selection.  That isn't to say the food wasn't good  but my kids would have been happy with a schnitzel sandwich.

But now,  the good part.  So we get seated.  And after about ten minutes,  the power goes out.  And then suddenly someone is on a microphone announcing a surprise.  The surprise was fireworks on the Kinneret.  That's right.  Fireworks right out the window.  You might be wondering why? Well,  in fact  right next to us was a bar and bat mitzvah Israel trip with about fifty people in the group.  And also a table of nine on their own bar mitzvah trip with the same tour company.  How do I know this?  Because random people love to tell me stuff.  I have to start looking less friendly.

After the fireworks,  they started with the party music and the restaurant staff called each kid up for a special personalized shirt and  hat.  And every kid got lifted  in a chair. And a hora broke out.  So here we are  at our little table in the middle of ten kids' bar and bat mitzvah fun.  Then  one of the grandmothers befriended me.  We are now basically Besties because she is from NJ.  And yes.  When we left we did wave goodbye.  Because we are friends now.  I call her Bubby.

To be continued....  But I will give you a preview.  It seems like the Good Fence no longer exists. How do I know this.  Oh,  you'll find out!

Pre- Chanukah, same old same old (still a lot of new)

I begin with another photo of the sky here.  Because honestly it's amazing.  Every single day it's awesome.  So here you go.

This past week as usual contained adventures,  although none are too dramatic.  We begin with a fun tiyul we did with ulpan.  Someone else organized a trip to the Ayalon Institute,  AKA the bullet factory.  I won't spoil it for you,  as you really need to see it for yourself.  But I will tell you a bit about our trip.  Okay,  so we get there late because there is a lot of confusion over who is driving and who is hitchhiking (tremp in Hebrew)

So we arrive late and our adorable tour guide was waiting outside for us.  He had been told to speak to us in easy Hebrew.  Which basically meant he spoke about half as quickly as he normally would, which is still about 4x too quickly for us.  But we managed.  He was great,  he translated a few words into English,  etc...  But now I'm going to the best part (about me of course).  After the tour was over,  a few of us were talking to him. He asked me how long I have been here and when I said four months,  he said I was still in the package.  After some confusion (on my part,  duh)  he explained he means like the packaging of a box,  I'm still in the wrapper  I'm so new.  Okay then.  More idioms to master.

Okay,  so that was super fun.  I've been suggesting about ten other trips to my teacher,  but she isn't biting.  I think we need a trip to the shuk.  Maybe a tasting tour????

Then, I again have to master a trip to the orthodontist for two kids.  Here are the basics.  I'm way more confident in doctor's offices now than I was even a month ago.  However,  I'm basically going to be paying double for braces.  Because here,  phase one is cheap and phase two is expensive.  And I believe it is the opposite in the USA.  I've already paid for four kids in braces and I'm about to pay again.  So you will need to visit me here because I won't be able to fly in the see anyone.  My money will be tied up in metal wires. (see what I did there)

Youngest child celebrated a birthday last week.  This included two nights of his favorite dinners and a chanukah themed cake for school.  That was his request.  Nailed it!!!

Finally,  we make it to shabbat.  Our kids have caught on to the fact that the adults go out to breakfast ALONE  almost every Friday.  So now they want to come.  So we agreed to take them one at a time (and then go back to ditching them).  One middle child was the first victim.  I think she had fun,  despite that fact that when you have two parents to yourself,  you get asked a lot of questions.  I think she was just in it for the hot chocolate.

On my end,  I spoke in Hebrew to the waitstaff.  Go me!!!

I am going to end this one here because Chanukah will deserve it own blog post or two.  But first,  a preview.

#1 I haven't seen one Xmas light or tree (not that I don't enjoy the lights,  it's just awesome that my life isn't taken over with it)
#2 I don't shop so I haven't had to deal with mall crowds
#3 we aren't doing chanukah gifts for our kids so I really don't need to shop
#4 my oil wished me a happy holidays.

There is always something new (to me) under the sun

@
I shall begin with a quick ulpan update. This past week  our teacher  was assigning us some more homework.  She said that we needed to write a dialogue with someone else in the class and then perform it for the class.  And,  if we wanted,  we could send it to her via email and she would check it and correct it.  That whole long lead up was just to get to this point.  She put her  email address on the board and read it to us.  Are you wondering what the @ symbol is called in Hebrew????  Well,  it's called "strudel".  That's right.  Strudel.  Apparently she then tried to tell me the actual Hebrew name for it but I wasn't having it.  There can't be a more perfect name for @ than strudel.  So strudel it is,  now and forever.

Gratuitous photo of my neighborhood because I'm a wee bit obsessed with taking photos of it.  Although hubby snapped this one while we did a mini tiyul while waiting for the cafe to open for breakfast.

# winning
Today I walk into ulpan and find out that we are going to hear a few people speak about some benefits we receive as new immigrants.  So I sat through a few talks about help with jobs,  how to get licensed in my profession,  how to apply for a loan to start a business,  etc... Then apparently we could have individual meetings with different government offices that were  there.

Now,  I hate going to government offices.  I never have the correct paperwork even though I'm carrying everything I own.  Birth certificates,  marriage license,  every drivers license since age 16, all immigration documents,  my 3rd grade report card and the certificate from my son's first haircut.  But I'm always missing something.  That is before I even begin the issue of the language barrier.  But I guess ulpan is working.  Because today I managed not only to conduct my entire conversation in Hebrew,  but I actually filled out what might be the correct form to reinstate some benefits that stopped when I popped over to the USA last month and I possibly registered for a medical ulpan for the spring.  Let's see if I get contacted for those.

Political Connections
In case you didnt see my Facebook brag,  I have an update on the ulpan building dedication.  Okay,  so my favorite knessset member didn't come.  However,  the mayor of Modiin did come.  Not only did he come and speak,  he walked right over to me and we had a whole conversation.  Well,  mostly he was speaking and I was dumbfounded and staring.  I'm quite sure someone sent him over and said,  "That crazy lady won't shut up about Sofa Landver,  so go over and chat her up so she'll leave us alone."  FYI,  I'm totally okay with that.  So thanks to whomever sent him over.  He isn't hard to look at,  is all I'll say.  Also,  apparently charismatic is a word in Hebrew.

My kids told me I need to talk about them more in my blog.  So here we go.

Giant child #1
He went off for shabbat with his scout group.  Seems like he had fun.  He returned alive,  with lots of stories.  He learned important stuff on this trip  like how to say cookie monster in Hebrew.  Not sure why he didn't just ask me.  I'm an expert on Hebrew sesame street.  And apparently today he is going to take the train alone to the airport to see a friend from camp.  What has happened to me???

Girl child #1
Apparently she is building some strange sort of science project.  All I know is that she has commandeered all bottle caps,  my shoe box,  and wooden skewers.  Hmm,  sure.  In other news she apparently has been speaking more Hebrew,  just not where I can hear her.  And I think she secretly does homework somewhere because I never see it.  And last but not least,  she consented to go dress shopping and bought the first three that she tried on.  So now she'll probably grow.

Girl child #2
Oh boy.  This child needed shoes this week.  I hate shopping for clothing in America,  and I really hate it here.  So we went to a few stores and said child refused to speak to the salespeople.  Hello.  If you don't ask here you'll never receive.  You must speak up.  Anyway  we finally hit the last store where I said  buy something here or don't,  but I'm  done.  So after a few embarrassing moments of me asking the teenage sales girl to basically be my ulpan teacher,  (how was I to know how to ask to try on shoes? Hint  it's not the word for try or the word for do) we managed to try on some shoes and then we bought them.  Hallelujah!!! Also,  said child bought  a few dresses the next day.  So now I'm guessing she'll grow as well.  Come on five feet!

Baby boy child #4
Okay,  fine  he isn't  a baby.  But he is my baby.  Anyway,  this past week was exciting for us.  Last week he apparently had a little lecture /lesson from a soldier, during school.  Topic : what to do in case of a bomb.  Oh joy.  Who doesn't want that topic in their kids classroom.  Anyway,  the point is,  the entire thing was in Hebrew and he claims to have understood everything.  So,  ummmm,  yay I guess.  Then,  miracle of miracles.  On shabbat we were having artichokes.  And he looked at them and said  sure  I'll try one.  And he then proceeded to eat half of an artichoke.  This is a child whose normal vegetable consumption for the week is one pea per day.  I told you that Israel was the land of miracles.

So what is the conclusion? ( in case you were bored and skipped to the end)

#1  this sign @ is awesome
#2  apparently I'm a political magnet (not to be confused with magnate)
#3 Kids have a ton of independence that I'm pretending I'm comfortable with
#4 I hate shopping here even more than I did in the USA
#5 apparently if you wait almost 11 years your kid will eat a random vegetable
#6 this is still the land of miracles.

And as I was about to publish this,  yet another "this could only happen to me in Israel"  moment happened.  I was dropping off one child to meet her carpool for a class she takes in Jerusalem each Sunday.  Taekwondo sparring to be specific,  because we wouldn't want to do something that doesn't include risk of injury.  Anyway,  I go to drop her off in the parking lot where she is supposed to meet.  Only the entire parking lot is full, must be parent teacher conferences or free donut night.  And it is designed in such a way that I can't even turn around when I realize it is full.  And my giant for Israel car can't do a K turn.  So I have to back up all the way out of the parking lot and into the busy street.  It's almost as bad as gd forbid seeing a spider. Obviously,  I lived to write another blog.  Danger is everywhere here!  (that's a joke mom)