I shall begin with a quick ulpan update. This past week our teacher was assigning us some more homework. She said that we needed to write a dialogue with someone else in the class and then perform it for the class. And, if we wanted, we could send it to her via email and she would check it and correct it. That whole long lead up was just to get to this point. She put her email address on the board and read it to us. Are you wondering what the @ symbol is called in Hebrew???? Well, it's called "strudel". That's right. Strudel. Apparently she then tried to tell me the actual Hebrew name for it but I wasn't having it. There can't be a more perfect name for @ than strudel. So strudel it is, now and forever.
# winning
Today I walk into ulpan and find out that we are going to hear a few people speak about some benefits we receive as new immigrants. So I sat through a few talks about help with jobs, how to get licensed in my profession, how to apply for a loan to start a business, etc... Then apparently we could have individual meetings with different government offices that were there.
Now, I hate going to government offices. I never have the correct paperwork even though I'm carrying everything I own. Birth certificates, marriage license, every drivers license since age 16, all immigration documents, my 3rd grade report card and the certificate from my son's first haircut. But I'm always missing something. That is before I even begin the issue of the language barrier. But I guess ulpan is working. Because today I managed not only to conduct my entire conversation in Hebrew, but I actually filled out what might be the correct form to reinstate some benefits that stopped when I popped over to the USA last month and I possibly registered for a medical ulpan for the spring. Let's see if I get contacted for those.
Political Connections
In case you didnt see my Facebook brag, I have an update on the ulpan building dedication. Okay, so my favorite knessset member didn't come. However, the mayor of Modiin did come. Not only did he come and speak, he walked right over to me and we had a whole conversation. Well, mostly he was speaking and I was dumbfounded and staring. I'm quite sure someone sent him over and said, "That crazy lady won't shut up about Sofa Landver, so go over and chat her up so she'll leave us alone." FYI, I'm totally okay with that. So thanks to whomever sent him over. He isn't hard to look at, is all I'll say. Also, apparently charismatic is a word in Hebrew.
My kids told me I need to talk about them more in my blog. So here we go.
Giant child #1
He went off for shabbat with his scout group. Seems like he had fun. He returned alive, with lots of stories. He learned important stuff on this trip like how to say cookie monster in Hebrew. Not sure why he didn't just ask me. I'm an expert on Hebrew sesame street. And apparently today he is going to take the train alone to the airport to see a friend from camp. What has happened to me???
Girl child #1
Apparently she is building some strange sort of science project. All I know is that she has commandeered all bottle caps, my shoe box, and wooden skewers. Hmm, sure. In other news she apparently has been speaking more Hebrew, just not where I can hear her. And I think she secretly does homework somewhere because I never see it. And last but not least, she consented to go dress shopping and bought the first three that she tried on. So now she'll probably grow.
Girl child #2
Oh boy. This child needed shoes this week. I hate shopping for clothing in America, and I really hate it here. So we went to a few stores and said child refused to speak to the salespeople. Hello. If you don't ask here you'll never receive. You must speak up. Anyway we finally hit the last store where I said buy something here or don't, but I'm done. So after a few embarrassing moments of me asking the teenage sales girl to basically be my ulpan teacher, (how was I to know how to ask to try on shoes? Hint it's not the word for try or the word for do) we managed to try on some shoes and then we bought them. Hallelujah!!! Also, said child bought a few dresses the next day. So now I'm guessing she'll grow as well. Come on five feet!
Baby boy child #4
Okay, fine he isn't a baby. But he is my baby. Anyway, this past week was exciting for us. Last week he apparently had a little lecture /lesson from a soldier, during school. Topic : what to do in case of a bomb. Oh joy. Who doesn't want that topic in their kids classroom. Anyway, the point is, the entire thing was in Hebrew and he claims to have understood everything. So, ummmm, yay I guess. Then, miracle of miracles. On shabbat we were having artichokes. And he looked at them and said sure I'll try one. And he then proceeded to eat half of an artichoke. This is a child whose normal vegetable consumption for the week is one pea per day. I told you that Israel was the land of miracles.
So what is the conclusion? ( in case you were bored and skipped to the end)
#1 this sign @ is awesome
#2 apparently I'm a political magnet (not to be confused with magnate)
#3 Kids have a ton of independence that I'm pretending I'm comfortable with
#4 I hate shopping here even more than I did in the USA
#5 apparently if you wait almost 11 years your kid will eat a random vegetable
#6 this is still the land of miracles.
And as I was about to publish this, yet another "this could only happen to me in Israel" moment happened. I was dropping off one child to meet her carpool for a class she takes in Jerusalem each Sunday. Taekwondo sparring to be specific, because we wouldn't want to do something that doesn't include risk of injury. Anyway, I go to drop her off in the parking lot where she is supposed to meet. Only the entire parking lot is full, must be parent teacher conferences or free donut night. And it is designed in such a way that I can't even turn around when I realize it is full. And my giant for Israel car can't do a K turn. So I have to back up all the way out of the parking lot and into the busy street. It's almost as bad as gd forbid seeing a spider. Obviously, I lived to write another blog. Danger is everywhere here! (that's a joke mom)
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