The idea for this blog struck me as I was sitting in a cafe in Jerusalem. Differences between cultures, from my perspective.
Restaurants :
USA
Come in
Sit Down
Peruse the menu
Order food
Eat food
Once the wait staff knows you are finished, you get the bill
Pay bill
Leave tip on table or manually add it to credit card
Israel
Come in
Sit Down
Peruse the menu for three seconds
Tell waiter you need more time
Order food (and hope you understand the menu)
Eat food
Try to find a waiter for your bill
Keep trying to get your bill
Get so hungry that you almost need to order the next meal
Finally get someone to bring you the bill
Pay the bill
Leave cash for tip or tell them what to add to your credit card. Yes, out loud, you tell them your tip.
Parking:
USA
Use the parking lot which often has ample parking and definitely can fit your car.
If no parking lot is available, parallel park,in the direction that you are already facing.
Israel
If there is a parking lot, don't enter it. It's definitely a trap and the only way out is crying.
If you have a car larger than a tictac, you probably can't park it in one of the spots properly. That's fine if you have Israeli confidence that you'll be able to get out of your spot. I don't have that yet.
In the event that you need to parallel park (basically always) don't stress. You can park in any direction. No rules. See a spot and grab it! Don't forget to be confident.
Supermarket shopping:
USA
Pull into giant parking lot.
Park giant minivan (oxymoron there).
Take a loose cart and walk into the store.
Shop for what you need and want.
Feel free to even read the labels, because it's your native language so you understand stuff.
Choose a line.
Put your stuff on the really long conveyor belt. Then load it into bags while the cashier helps you.
Leave the store.
Put stuff into your big car.
Return the cart or not (but I'll judge you if you don't).
Israel
Choose supermarket based on parking lot.
Pull into said lot and park as far away from other cars as possible.
Take your five shekel piece that you keep in your car and purse and insert it into shopping cart to release the cart.
Enter store and shop as you normally would. Except that the brands are different so it's a lot of trial and error. And sometimes you can only remember the type of cheese you like by the color of the package. So hopefully they don't change the packaging until you learn the name. For the first few months, don't bother even reading the labels. It will just be frustrating.
Go choose a line.
Notice that half of the carts in line don't even have people with them. They parked their carts there twenty minutes ago and did most of their shopping while their cart holds their spot. #smart
When it's your turn, you put some of your items on the very short conveyor belt.
Then run back and forth bagging stuff and putting stuff on the conveyor belt. The cashier does not help. But also, no one seems to mind how long it a process this is.
Finally get everything packed, try to properly answer the cashier's questions and leave the store.
Load bags into car.
Return cart if you want your five shekel back. Finally leave and pray you can get out of the parking lot.
Update!!
Well, lucky for all of us that I didn't manage to finish this earlier. Because now you get to have the latest and greatest update on my adventures in Israel. I can now officially compare hospitals in the USA vs hospitals in Israel. You're welcome.
Let's start from the beginning. Remember how I passed my Israeli nursing license exam and how I am finally licensed to work here???? Well, I finally got my resume together (thanks to help from legit Israelis) and applied to a few jobs. It took me longer than planned because I decided to finish the next level of ulpan and I had my level daled exam last week. Anyway...
My first interview was set for this past Sunday. So here is where I'll make a really long story short.
On the drive down to the interview, I started feeling really sick. At first I thought I was just nervous, but if you know me, you know that I don't get nervous like that. I am a fairly calm person. I felt so sick that I pulled over twice on the side of an Israeli highway. Again, if you know me, you know that I don't pull over on a highway. Ever.
Finally get to the hospital for interview but never make it to the interview. Suffice it to say that there are some bushes just outside of the management building that will never ever be the same. And, thank goodness one of my good friends is an ER doctor at that hospital. (Hello being in the right place at the right time) she had to rescue me from outside. Hubby had to leave work and take the train and bus to me because there was no way I could drive. Got some treatment in the ER and went home. It was assumed to be a GI bug. Once home, realized what we thought was a GI bug really wasn't. While home, I actually pre diagnosed myself (oh joy).
Went back to the same hospital because my friend is a doctor in the ER and it helps to have friends in high places. Cut to the end of the long story and then I can compare. I ended up needing surgery. Because if you're me, when your ovary decides to twist, it doesn't just twist once, it twists twice. I'm that much of an overachiever. So that's the insiders scoop.
Now I am back home and recovering from that whirlwind introduction to israeli hospitals.
Comparison time. Remember, this is based on my very small sample. This is not scientific.
Emergency Room:
USA
Walk in, go to reception, they print you a bracelet.
Sit down and wait for triage
Get called, be seen, have tests done, etc...
Spend weeks or months fighting with your insurance
Israel
Walk into reception, take a number
When they call your number, go to the window and try to give them your info
Vomit in the middle of reception (into the bucket you're holding)
They print your file immediately and send you in
Get called into the actual ER.
Spend a long time waiting to be seen
While pain meds work a bit, do some amazing people watching. Or not watching, but listening. Apparently here in Israel, it's normal to walk right over to the doctors and nurses while they are helping others and start complaining about how slow everything is moving. Perhaps this also happens in the USA. I mean, I'm sure that it does. But for some reason it was much more interesting to watch the Israeli family members try to organize a revolt. And also to see if I could understand all of the Hebrew. Result. No one got hurt and I understood most of it.
Let's cut to the end. Instead of me having what we thought was a GI bug, I ended up needing surgery. While this may seem pretty unlucky, I'll show you why i still feel lucky, albeit sort of traumatized.
#1 I feel very lucky that a good friend is an ER doctor and was able to help me. She wasn't treating me, but her co-worker basically told me he wasn't letting me leave until we discovered what the issue was.
#2 I also feel very lucky that for the most part, the staff was fabulous.
#3 I had a doctor who was having trouble getting an IV in. I have adorably tiny thin veins. When I told him this, he said that I needed to be more positive and you just have to know how to talk to them. He then proceeded to sing me a song about snails and water and he explained it to me, but apparently you have to grow up here to understand it. Still, how sweet is that?
#4 My surgeon happened to be an English speaker
#5 I had an ultrasound tech who really stood up for me when one doctor was very skeptical of my situation
#6 I now know that my Hebrew is basically good enough to be understood by Israelis. Still a bit problematic when I'm speaking Hebrew to someone who also isn't a native speaker , which ps, is about half of the staff.
#7 when my neighbors and friends heard about what happened they just began to organize help. Food, whatever we need. So in the midst of this chaos I feel very loved.
#8 I'm normally a very private person. But here we are all in family and now we can all freely discuss this. Israel changes people!
So end of the story. I made it to age 39 with my only surgery being to remove my tonsils and adenoids at age 30. I managed to give birth to four kids, including twins without surgery. And then along comes a tiny body part that decided to turn against me. I'm just glad it all worked out and I'm back home and recovering. Moving slowly, but the pain is insignificant compared to before surgery.
Oh, and in case you are wondering. They do serve Israeli breakfast in Israeli hospitals. I was just feeling to sick to eat it.
And I should add. At the end of this ordeal, I expect to pay exactly zero in hospital bills. We shall see.
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