Chanukah take 1

Okay,  finally we have arrived at Chanukah.

First outdoor Chanukiah

 Day #1 was right after shabbat
 So we did the yearly scramble to get out the chanukah gear and light candles and torture our kids with a few songs.  Traditions,  you know?  And then the great latke bake began.  Because making potato kugel for shabbat wasn't enough hand grating of potatoes.  Oh no,  we needed more.  Luckily I have a lot of kids so everyone got to (had to)  help.

Potatoes latkes and zucchini latkes were fried to perfection.  My house now smells like fried stuff and likely will for another few weeks.  But what matters is that everyone got their latkes.  PS,  zucchini latkes are delicious and way easier to grate  than potato.  Also,  I need a food processor for once a year.  But my mother thinks that's blasphemy.  I don't have space for one anyway so I'll tell myself I'm just teaching my kids an important skill.

After the kids were in bed,  we get a knock at the door.  It wasn't that late  but still odd.  I thought maybe it was Eliyahu HaNavi (Elijah the Prophet)  even though this is the wrong holiday.  Turns out it was one of my neighbors who requested that we take a family photo for them.  So Jon went over.  But it wasn't just their immediate family.  It turned out to be like fifty relatives. Which actually might be their immediate family.  Apparently Jon stood on a chair in the corner to get the photo.  I'm just glad it wasn't me.  Too much pressure to make sure everyone is looking at the camera.

Night #2 Friends came over for the second night.  But before I get to that.  We had an outdoor candle lighting on my street,  hosted by one neighbor.  The celebration was full of neighbors,  kids, rain,  donuts and a keyboard for musical entertainment.  I love my street and my neighbors.

After that  friends came over.  I sent my kids out to buy pizza for dinner.  Lucky for me  we have a pizza place about a two minute walk away.  And pizza is 20 Shekel.  We are big fans,  especially because the kids walk over, order,  and carry it all home.  Life skills!

The adults had fun catching up.  The kids did stuff,  not exactly sure what but it involved a lot of chocolate,  dreidles,  crayons and hide and seek.  No one was injured so it was all good.  Oh,  and of course one girl child and I decided to make cookies a few minutes before they came over.  Because why not?

Day #3 Headed out on vacation AKA,  National Lampoons Vacation!! 

 Because in Israel the kids are off for most of chanukah.  They only had school on the first day.  I had lots of great plans for what we would do on vacation.  Except I didn't exactly expect it to rain like a monsoon for days!  So then I was scrambling.

 Our visit to the Hula Valley to see birds   instead became,  let's sleep late and leave the house late.  Oh  and after stopping  for coffee,  let's come back home because someone forgot their ice skates (more on that later)  But it was all good  because we had a tour of the Golan Winery in the afternoon.  And while that might not sound thrilling it was really fun..  And we had wine.  And the kids had grape juice.

Dinner on day #3. This gets it's own paragraph.  Okay,  so we go to this place called Decks /Pagoda.  I have seen so many recommendations from people.  My advice
 Be prepared to pay a lot of money for very little selection.  That isn't to say the food wasn't good  but my kids would have been happy with a schnitzel sandwich.

But now,  the good part.  So we get seated.  And after about ten minutes,  the power goes out.  And then suddenly someone is on a microphone announcing a surprise.  The surprise was fireworks on the Kinneret.  That's right.  Fireworks right out the window.  You might be wondering why? Well,  in fact  right next to us was a bar and bat mitzvah Israel trip with about fifty people in the group.  And also a table of nine on their own bar mitzvah trip with the same tour company.  How do I know this?  Because random people love to tell me stuff.  I have to start looking less friendly.

After the fireworks,  they started with the party music and the restaurant staff called each kid up for a special personalized shirt and  hat.  And every kid got lifted  in a chair. And a hora broke out.  So here we are  at our little table in the middle of ten kids' bar and bat mitzvah fun.  Then  one of the grandmothers befriended me.  We are now basically Besties because she is from NJ.  And yes.  When we left we did wave goodbye.  Because we are friends now.  I call her Bubby.

To be continued....  But I will give you a preview.  It seems like the Good Fence no longer exists. How do I know this.  Oh,  you'll find out!

Pre- Chanukah, same old same old (still a lot of new)

I begin with another photo of the sky here.  Because honestly it's amazing.  Every single day it's awesome.  So here you go.

This past week as usual contained adventures,  although none are too dramatic.  We begin with a fun tiyul we did with ulpan.  Someone else organized a trip to the Ayalon Institute,  AKA the bullet factory.  I won't spoil it for you,  as you really need to see it for yourself.  But I will tell you a bit about our trip.  Okay,  so we get there late because there is a lot of confusion over who is driving and who is hitchhiking (tremp in Hebrew)

So we arrive late and our adorable tour guide was waiting outside for us.  He had been told to speak to us in easy Hebrew.  Which basically meant he spoke about half as quickly as he normally would, which is still about 4x too quickly for us.  But we managed.  He was great,  he translated a few words into English,  etc...  But now I'm going to the best part (about me of course).  After the tour was over,  a few of us were talking to him. He asked me how long I have been here and when I said four months,  he said I was still in the package.  After some confusion (on my part,  duh)  he explained he means like the packaging of a box,  I'm still in the wrapper  I'm so new.  Okay then.  More idioms to master.

Okay,  so that was super fun.  I've been suggesting about ten other trips to my teacher,  but she isn't biting.  I think we need a trip to the shuk.  Maybe a tasting tour????

Then, I again have to master a trip to the orthodontist for two kids.  Here are the basics.  I'm way more confident in doctor's offices now than I was even a month ago.  However,  I'm basically going to be paying double for braces.  Because here,  phase one is cheap and phase two is expensive.  And I believe it is the opposite in the USA.  I've already paid for four kids in braces and I'm about to pay again.  So you will need to visit me here because I won't be able to fly in the see anyone.  My money will be tied up in metal wires. (see what I did there)

Youngest child celebrated a birthday last week.  This included two nights of his favorite dinners and a chanukah themed cake for school.  That was his request.  Nailed it!!!

Finally,  we make it to shabbat.  Our kids have caught on to the fact that the adults go out to breakfast ALONE  almost every Friday.  So now they want to come.  So we agreed to take them one at a time (and then go back to ditching them).  One middle child was the first victim.  I think she had fun,  despite that fact that when you have two parents to yourself,  you get asked a lot of questions.  I think she was just in it for the hot chocolate.

On my end,  I spoke in Hebrew to the waitstaff.  Go me!!!

I am going to end this one here because Chanukah will deserve it own blog post or two.  But first,  a preview.

#1 I haven't seen one Xmas light or tree (not that I don't enjoy the lights,  it's just awesome that my life isn't taken over with it)
#2 I don't shop so I haven't had to deal with mall crowds
#3 we aren't doing chanukah gifts for our kids so I really don't need to shop
#4 my oil wished me a happy holidays.

There is always something new (to me) under the sun

@
I shall begin with a quick ulpan update. This past week  our teacher  was assigning us some more homework.  She said that we needed to write a dialogue with someone else in the class and then perform it for the class.  And,  if we wanted,  we could send it to her via email and she would check it and correct it.  That whole long lead up was just to get to this point.  She put her  email address on the board and read it to us.  Are you wondering what the @ symbol is called in Hebrew????  Well,  it's called "strudel".  That's right.  Strudel.  Apparently she then tried to tell me the actual Hebrew name for it but I wasn't having it.  There can't be a more perfect name for @ than strudel.  So strudel it is,  now and forever.

Gratuitous photo of my neighborhood because I'm a wee bit obsessed with taking photos of it.  Although hubby snapped this one while we did a mini tiyul while waiting for the cafe to open for breakfast.

# winning
Today I walk into ulpan and find out that we are going to hear a few people speak about some benefits we receive as new immigrants.  So I sat through a few talks about help with jobs,  how to get licensed in my profession,  how to apply for a loan to start a business,  etc... Then apparently we could have individual meetings with different government offices that were  there.

Now,  I hate going to government offices.  I never have the correct paperwork even though I'm carrying everything I own.  Birth certificates,  marriage license,  every drivers license since age 16, all immigration documents,  my 3rd grade report card and the certificate from my son's first haircut.  But I'm always missing something.  That is before I even begin the issue of the language barrier.  But I guess ulpan is working.  Because today I managed not only to conduct my entire conversation in Hebrew,  but I actually filled out what might be the correct form to reinstate some benefits that stopped when I popped over to the USA last month and I possibly registered for a medical ulpan for the spring.  Let's see if I get contacted for those.

Political Connections
In case you didnt see my Facebook brag,  I have an update on the ulpan building dedication.  Okay,  so my favorite knessset member didn't come.  However,  the mayor of Modiin did come.  Not only did he come and speak,  he walked right over to me and we had a whole conversation.  Well,  mostly he was speaking and I was dumbfounded and staring.  I'm quite sure someone sent him over and said,  "That crazy lady won't shut up about Sofa Landver,  so go over and chat her up so she'll leave us alone."  FYI,  I'm totally okay with that.  So thanks to whomever sent him over.  He isn't hard to look at,  is all I'll say.  Also,  apparently charismatic is a word in Hebrew.

My kids told me I need to talk about them more in my blog.  So here we go.

Giant child #1
He went off for shabbat with his scout group.  Seems like he had fun.  He returned alive,  with lots of stories.  He learned important stuff on this trip  like how to say cookie monster in Hebrew.  Not sure why he didn't just ask me.  I'm an expert on Hebrew sesame street.  And apparently today he is going to take the train alone to the airport to see a friend from camp.  What has happened to me???

Girl child #1
Apparently she is building some strange sort of science project.  All I know is that she has commandeered all bottle caps,  my shoe box,  and wooden skewers.  Hmm,  sure.  In other news she apparently has been speaking more Hebrew,  just not where I can hear her.  And I think she secretly does homework somewhere because I never see it.  And last but not least,  she consented to go dress shopping and bought the first three that she tried on.  So now she'll probably grow.

Girl child #2
Oh boy.  This child needed shoes this week.  I hate shopping for clothing in America,  and I really hate it here.  So we went to a few stores and said child refused to speak to the salespeople.  Hello.  If you don't ask here you'll never receive.  You must speak up.  Anyway  we finally hit the last store where I said  buy something here or don't,  but I'm  done.  So after a few embarrassing moments of me asking the teenage sales girl to basically be my ulpan teacher,  (how was I to know how to ask to try on shoes? Hint  it's not the word for try or the word for do) we managed to try on some shoes and then we bought them.  Hallelujah!!! Also,  said child bought  a few dresses the next day.  So now I'm guessing she'll grow as well.  Come on five feet!

Baby boy child #4
Okay,  fine  he isn't  a baby.  But he is my baby.  Anyway,  this past week was exciting for us.  Last week he apparently had a little lecture /lesson from a soldier, during school.  Topic : what to do in case of a bomb.  Oh joy.  Who doesn't want that topic in their kids classroom.  Anyway,  the point is,  the entire thing was in Hebrew and he claims to have understood everything.  So,  ummmm,  yay I guess.  Then,  miracle of miracles.  On shabbat we were having artichokes.  And he looked at them and said  sure  I'll try one.  And he then proceeded to eat half of an artichoke.  This is a child whose normal vegetable consumption for the week is one pea per day.  I told you that Israel was the land of miracles.

So what is the conclusion? ( in case you were bored and skipped to the end)

#1  this sign @ is awesome
#2  apparently I'm a political magnet (not to be confused with magnate)
#3 Kids have a ton of independence that I'm pretending I'm comfortable with
#4 I hate shopping here even more than I did in the USA
#5 apparently if you wait almost 11 years your kid will eat a random vegetable
#6 this is still the land of miracles.

And as I was about to publish this,  yet another "this could only happen to me in Israel"  moment happened.  I was dropping off one child to meet her carpool for a class she takes in Jerusalem each Sunday.  Taekwondo sparring to be specific,  because we wouldn't want to do something that doesn't include risk of injury.  Anyway,  I go to drop her off in the parking lot where she is supposed to meet.  Only the entire parking lot is full, must be parent teacher conferences or free donut night.  And it is designed in such a way that I can't even turn around when I realize it is full.  And my giant for Israel car can't do a K turn.  So I have to back up all the way out of the parking lot and into the busy street.  It's almost as bad as gd forbid seeing a spider. Obviously,  I lived to write another blog.  Danger is everywhere here!  (that's a joke mom)

First time for everything

Several exciting things have happened in the past week.

#1 Had my first little gathering /party in my house.

#2 Attended "Lord of the Dance"

#3 Working on other foreign languages

#4 Emailed a member of Knesset


Let's begin with #1:  L'Chaim

This past shabbat was the 25th anniversary of the hubby's Bar Mitzvah.  It was also a few days after his birthday and we have yet to host a party,  so we decided this was the time.  Now,  I almost sent a WhatsApp to our neighborhood group,  but then I remembered that there are seriously a lot of people in that group.  Instead,  I decided to enlist the help of a friend,  who seems to have the role of neighborhood organizer.  I asked her if she could invite the usual people that we meet with every week on shabbat.  This was two fold.  First,  this way I wouldn't leave anyone out from the usual group.  I'm notorious for that,  so apologies to everyone I've done that to in the past.  Always unintentional.  The second reason was so that I wouldn't have to send a Hebrew text to a lot of people where they would all be seeing my grammar.  Instead I just sent those to one person and I let her sort it out.

Anyway,  all went well.  One neighbor made a few deserts and I made and purchased enough deserts and liquor for about thirty people,  even though only about ten were here,  plus kids.  We had a nice little l'chaim,  kids had fun playing with the neighbors,  and my ulpan class was pretty happy to receive the leftover cake.

#2 Lord of the Dance
I have always wanted to see Lord of the Dance.  I lived in NYC for a few years and then very close to the city.  But rarely went to see anything.  Apparently I needed to move to Israel in order to catch a performance of this show.  Well,  let me tell you.  It was amazing. My ulpan bestie ordered tickets for six of us,  and we had a fun adults night out.

And by adult  I mean that we acted like teenagers at the ice cream place.  Then we got to the show and acted basically the same.  This included the part where the men came out without their shirts on.  Let's just say that I was sitting on the second row and I got quite a view.  I'm very cultured now.  I'm just saying that I sat through a lot of scenes where the girls were barely wearing clothing.  So when the guys came out without shirts,  the woman two seats down from me started furiously clapping and whistling.

And they asked everyone to put their phones away.  Which is the opposite of what my friend behind me did.  Because all of a sudden after the show she had about twenty pictures. So now I'm stealing her photos to share with you.

#3  Working on my other languages
Okay,  I get it that it's winter.  And I'm probably next.  But my Ulpan class is seriously like the hot zone.  Everyone is always coughing and sneezing.  I've mastered how to say Bless You in English,  Hebrew and French.  And apparently saying it in Dutch is the same as Yiddish.  So now I've moved onto learning how to say it in Ukrainian and Portuguese.  Because don't you think I should bless everyone in my class in their native language?  Well,  let me tell you.  My family might have Ukrainian roots,  but apparently I don't have a knack for Ukrainian words.  But on the other hand,  the two girls teaching it to me had a few nice laughing fits.  Us dumb Americans! I did a bit better in Portuguese.  Good thing I have many opportunities to practice in class.  I can't say that ulpan teacher was that pleased to hear us doing this.  But we reminded her that we were speaking in Hebrew,  so yay us!

#4 Knesset
If you've been reading my blog,  you are well aware that I have an odd fascination with Sofa Landver,  minister of absorption and aliyah.  Or whatever her exact title is.  And you know that she was invited to a building dedication tomorrow in my town.  The building where I attend ulpan is a new building and they are  holding this whole ceremony tomorrow.  Anyway,  I was told that she was invited but that she is not coming.

I was not that pleased with that answer,  because I really like her.  So,  yesterday I decided to take matters into my own hands and send her an email.  I went onto Facebook and found her page and sent her a message.  We'll,  lo and behold, she messaged me back.  My first message from a member of government.  The following is our conversation.  Excuse the grammar.  I am in the red.


שלום!  אני סטודנטית באולפן במודיעין.  לפני חודש/חודשיים,  ראיתי אותה ושמעתי אותה ביום העולה.  אחרי הטקס הזה,  אני חושבת שאת החברה הכנסת הכי טובה.  אני יודעת שאת הזמנת לחנוכת הבית באולפן במודיעין.  אנו נהיה מאוד מאוד   שמחים אם את יכולה לבוא.  14  בדצמבר תודה לך

תודה רבה על מילים חמות. לצערי לא קיבלתי הזמנה. בהצלחה. הצלחתכם היא הצלחתי

חבל שלא הזמנת.  הם אמרו לי שאת הזמנת.  אנו מדברים כל הזמן על הדיבור שלך.  תודה רבה.

You can Google translate it if you want.  Basically,  I told her that I am a new immigrant studying in ulpan and that I heard her speak on Aliyah Day and that she is now my favorite member of parliament.  And that I know she was invited to this building dedication and that we would be so happy if she would attend.  She thanked me for my words and said that she was not invited to come.  I replied that that is a shame and that I talk about her speech all of the time.

Now,  getting back to me.  I know that it's 2016 and it isn't that unusual to get a tweet or a message or whatever from a member of the government.  But this was my first time (except for when George Bush the elder sent me a fake letter for passing the presidential fitness test in elementary school).  So yay me. Hopefully I'll get her to come to an event in the future.  מגיע כפיים!

Overcome your fears, or not.

It's been a while and y'all are probably desperate for an update.  You're probably thinking,  "What has Arielle been up to in ulpan?" Mostly same old same old.  But of course I have a few highlights.

First,  we officially live here now.  Because we hung up our sign.  Sorry neighbors,  you're stuck with us.  If you're wondering what that hole in the wall is,  we think it might be a warp zone to another time.

Word of the week: להתגבר.  It means to overcome something.  Remember this word.

First to my dear ulpan bestie.  We are seriously going to get either kicked out  of ulpan or promoted to the next class.  For example.  The class was doing something and we were working on something else because we were finished.  Anyway,  we come to one exercise,  where we had to write the conclusion of a sentence.  "I wish someone would invent....."  So she is next to me and talking to herself as usual.
(Back story.  She has some food allergies)  And I hear her say in Hebrew,  "I wish they would invent borekas" ,  and I turn to her and say,  "what,  without sesame???"  (because sesame is sprinkled over the entire country) Well,  as it turned out she had said  something about BRCA,  but that was it.  The two of us were busting it and could barely control ourselves.  And my wish for an invention wasn't so lofty.  I just want a robot to do my housework.  This is one example of a typical day for us.  Never fear though,  we are learning a lot.

The above photo is a tribute to Sofa Landwer,  my favorite government official.  Please come to the chanukat habayit in Modiin at my ulpan.  Today I promised my teacher that if you come,  I'll dance a hora.
https://www.knesset.gov.il/mk/eng/mk_eng.asp?mk_individual_id_t=78

This week we started the celebration for hubby's birthday.  Yay,  now we are the same age again.  Since I really don't know how to shop here and the return policies aren't my style,  I don't shop unless absolutely necessary.  He got his birthday gift while I was in America.  You all hopefully remember what happened to keep the first time I went to the mall alone???  Of not  go back and re-read the early blogs,  especially if you enjoy laughing at idiotic things people (me) do.

Anyway,  in honor of his birthday,
 התגברתי על הפחד. I got over my fear and hit the mall.  That's right.  Because he doesn't really like cake but he loves  donuts.  This is true love.  And hallelujah its donut season here people.  Hide your diets and bring out your stretchy pants.

In other news,  the kids all went to a scouting event this week.  Two thousand religious scouts from all over Israel got together and did who knows what.  All I know is that my kids had a blast,  there was a bus there and it was near my house.  And I got a mini date with the hubby out of the deal.  Also,  hello,  2,000 Jewish kids just getting together on a weekday afternoon.  Amazing!  This is why we came!

Braved the supermarket again on a Thursday,  only because tomorrow there is some 10k run here in town and the streets are closed,  and I'm hosting a dessert gathering tomorrow night so I need food and booze and Krembo.

 It all was going so well at the market,  AKA  no one talked to me,  I found everything on my list,  and they had smiling cat cheese. I even picked a good line.  And then the cashier started in with the questions.  Dear everyone.  Stop asking me questions that aren't on the list of questions that I know.  I'm just going to pretend I understand and then answer No.  Because once in 1996 I didn't understand the falafel guy's questions so I kept saying yes.  Until I ended up with a falafel with harif.  So now I say No if I don't understand.  This isn't a great method FYI.  I definitely need to get over this part.
  לא התגברתי היום.  Tomorrow is another day though.  Someone please ask me questions that I understand. But at least I saw this at the market.  Whatever it is.