Chanukah take 1

Okay,  finally we have arrived at Chanukah.

First outdoor Chanukiah

 Day #1 was right after shabbat
 So we did the yearly scramble to get out the chanukah gear and light candles and torture our kids with a few songs.  Traditions,  you know?  And then the great latke bake began.  Because making potato kugel for shabbat wasn't enough hand grating of potatoes.  Oh no,  we needed more.  Luckily I have a lot of kids so everyone got to (had to)  help.

Potatoes latkes and zucchini latkes were fried to perfection.  My house now smells like fried stuff and likely will for another few weeks.  But what matters is that everyone got their latkes.  PS,  zucchini latkes are delicious and way easier to grate  than potato.  Also,  I need a food processor for once a year.  But my mother thinks that's blasphemy.  I don't have space for one anyway so I'll tell myself I'm just teaching my kids an important skill.

After the kids were in bed,  we get a knock at the door.  It wasn't that late  but still odd.  I thought maybe it was Eliyahu HaNavi (Elijah the Prophet)  even though this is the wrong holiday.  Turns out it was one of my neighbors who requested that we take a family photo for them.  So Jon went over.  But it wasn't just their immediate family.  It turned out to be like fifty relatives. Which actually might be their immediate family.  Apparently Jon stood on a chair in the corner to get the photo.  I'm just glad it wasn't me.  Too much pressure to make sure everyone is looking at the camera.

Night #2 Friends came over for the second night.  But before I get to that.  We had an outdoor candle lighting on my street,  hosted by one neighbor.  The celebration was full of neighbors,  kids, rain,  donuts and a keyboard for musical entertainment.  I love my street and my neighbors.

After that  friends came over.  I sent my kids out to buy pizza for dinner.  Lucky for me  we have a pizza place about a two minute walk away.  And pizza is 20 Shekel.  We are big fans,  especially because the kids walk over, order,  and carry it all home.  Life skills!

The adults had fun catching up.  The kids did stuff,  not exactly sure what but it involved a lot of chocolate,  dreidles,  crayons and hide and seek.  No one was injured so it was all good.  Oh,  and of course one girl child and I decided to make cookies a few minutes before they came over.  Because why not?

Day #3 Headed out on vacation AKA,  National Lampoons Vacation!! 

 Because in Israel the kids are off for most of chanukah.  They only had school on the first day.  I had lots of great plans for what we would do on vacation.  Except I didn't exactly expect it to rain like a monsoon for days!  So then I was scrambling.

 Our visit to the Hula Valley to see birds   instead became,  let's sleep late and leave the house late.  Oh  and after stopping  for coffee,  let's come back home because someone forgot their ice skates (more on that later)  But it was all good  because we had a tour of the Golan Winery in the afternoon.  And while that might not sound thrilling it was really fun..  And we had wine.  And the kids had grape juice.

Dinner on day #3. This gets it's own paragraph.  Okay,  so we go to this place called Decks /Pagoda.  I have seen so many recommendations from people.  My advice
 Be prepared to pay a lot of money for very little selection.  That isn't to say the food wasn't good  but my kids would have been happy with a schnitzel sandwich.

But now,  the good part.  So we get seated.  And after about ten minutes,  the power goes out.  And then suddenly someone is on a microphone announcing a surprise.  The surprise was fireworks on the Kinneret.  That's right.  Fireworks right out the window.  You might be wondering why? Well,  in fact  right next to us was a bar and bat mitzvah Israel trip with about fifty people in the group.  And also a table of nine on their own bar mitzvah trip with the same tour company.  How do I know this?  Because random people love to tell me stuff.  I have to start looking less friendly.

After the fireworks,  they started with the party music and the restaurant staff called each kid up for a special personalized shirt and  hat.  And every kid got lifted  in a chair. And a hora broke out.  So here we are  at our little table in the middle of ten kids' bar and bat mitzvah fun.  Then  one of the grandmothers befriended me.  We are now basically Besties because she is from NJ.  And yes.  When we left we did wave goodbye.  Because we are friends now.  I call her Bubby.

To be continued....  But I will give you a preview.  It seems like the Good Fence no longer exists. How do I know this.  Oh,  you'll find out!

Pre- Chanukah, same old same old (still a lot of new)

I begin with another photo of the sky here.  Because honestly it's amazing.  Every single day it's awesome.  So here you go.

This past week as usual contained adventures,  although none are too dramatic.  We begin with a fun tiyul we did with ulpan.  Someone else organized a trip to the Ayalon Institute,  AKA the bullet factory.  I won't spoil it for you,  as you really need to see it for yourself.  But I will tell you a bit about our trip.  Okay,  so we get there late because there is a lot of confusion over who is driving and who is hitchhiking (tremp in Hebrew)

So we arrive late and our adorable tour guide was waiting outside for us.  He had been told to speak to us in easy Hebrew.  Which basically meant he spoke about half as quickly as he normally would, which is still about 4x too quickly for us.  But we managed.  He was great,  he translated a few words into English,  etc...  But now I'm going to the best part (about me of course).  After the tour was over,  a few of us were talking to him. He asked me how long I have been here and when I said four months,  he said I was still in the package.  After some confusion (on my part,  duh)  he explained he means like the packaging of a box,  I'm still in the wrapper  I'm so new.  Okay then.  More idioms to master.

Okay,  so that was super fun.  I've been suggesting about ten other trips to my teacher,  but she isn't biting.  I think we need a trip to the shuk.  Maybe a tasting tour????

Then, I again have to master a trip to the orthodontist for two kids.  Here are the basics.  I'm way more confident in doctor's offices now than I was even a month ago.  However,  I'm basically going to be paying double for braces.  Because here,  phase one is cheap and phase two is expensive.  And I believe it is the opposite in the USA.  I've already paid for four kids in braces and I'm about to pay again.  So you will need to visit me here because I won't be able to fly in the see anyone.  My money will be tied up in metal wires. (see what I did there)

Youngest child celebrated a birthday last week.  This included two nights of his favorite dinners and a chanukah themed cake for school.  That was his request.  Nailed it!!!

Finally,  we make it to shabbat.  Our kids have caught on to the fact that the adults go out to breakfast ALONE  almost every Friday.  So now they want to come.  So we agreed to take them one at a time (and then go back to ditching them).  One middle child was the first victim.  I think she had fun,  despite that fact that when you have two parents to yourself,  you get asked a lot of questions.  I think she was just in it for the hot chocolate.

On my end,  I spoke in Hebrew to the waitstaff.  Go me!!!

I am going to end this one here because Chanukah will deserve it own blog post or two.  But first,  a preview.

#1 I haven't seen one Xmas light or tree (not that I don't enjoy the lights,  it's just awesome that my life isn't taken over with it)
#2 I don't shop so I haven't had to deal with mall crowds
#3 we aren't doing chanukah gifts for our kids so I really don't need to shop
#4 my oil wished me a happy holidays.

There is always something new (to me) under the sun

@
I shall begin with a quick ulpan update. This past week  our teacher  was assigning us some more homework.  She said that we needed to write a dialogue with someone else in the class and then perform it for the class.  And,  if we wanted,  we could send it to her via email and she would check it and correct it.  That whole long lead up was just to get to this point.  She put her  email address on the board and read it to us.  Are you wondering what the @ symbol is called in Hebrew????  Well,  it's called "strudel".  That's right.  Strudel.  Apparently she then tried to tell me the actual Hebrew name for it but I wasn't having it.  There can't be a more perfect name for @ than strudel.  So strudel it is,  now and forever.

Gratuitous photo of my neighborhood because I'm a wee bit obsessed with taking photos of it.  Although hubby snapped this one while we did a mini tiyul while waiting for the cafe to open for breakfast.

# winning
Today I walk into ulpan and find out that we are going to hear a few people speak about some benefits we receive as new immigrants.  So I sat through a few talks about help with jobs,  how to get licensed in my profession,  how to apply for a loan to start a business,  etc... Then apparently we could have individual meetings with different government offices that were  there.

Now,  I hate going to government offices.  I never have the correct paperwork even though I'm carrying everything I own.  Birth certificates,  marriage license,  every drivers license since age 16, all immigration documents,  my 3rd grade report card and the certificate from my son's first haircut.  But I'm always missing something.  That is before I even begin the issue of the language barrier.  But I guess ulpan is working.  Because today I managed not only to conduct my entire conversation in Hebrew,  but I actually filled out what might be the correct form to reinstate some benefits that stopped when I popped over to the USA last month and I possibly registered for a medical ulpan for the spring.  Let's see if I get contacted for those.

Political Connections
In case you didnt see my Facebook brag,  I have an update on the ulpan building dedication.  Okay,  so my favorite knessset member didn't come.  However,  the mayor of Modiin did come.  Not only did he come and speak,  he walked right over to me and we had a whole conversation.  Well,  mostly he was speaking and I was dumbfounded and staring.  I'm quite sure someone sent him over and said,  "That crazy lady won't shut up about Sofa Landver,  so go over and chat her up so she'll leave us alone."  FYI,  I'm totally okay with that.  So thanks to whomever sent him over.  He isn't hard to look at,  is all I'll say.  Also,  apparently charismatic is a word in Hebrew.

My kids told me I need to talk about them more in my blog.  So here we go.

Giant child #1
He went off for shabbat with his scout group.  Seems like he had fun.  He returned alive,  with lots of stories.  He learned important stuff on this trip  like how to say cookie monster in Hebrew.  Not sure why he didn't just ask me.  I'm an expert on Hebrew sesame street.  And apparently today he is going to take the train alone to the airport to see a friend from camp.  What has happened to me???

Girl child #1
Apparently she is building some strange sort of science project.  All I know is that she has commandeered all bottle caps,  my shoe box,  and wooden skewers.  Hmm,  sure.  In other news she apparently has been speaking more Hebrew,  just not where I can hear her.  And I think she secretly does homework somewhere because I never see it.  And last but not least,  she consented to go dress shopping and bought the first three that she tried on.  So now she'll probably grow.

Girl child #2
Oh boy.  This child needed shoes this week.  I hate shopping for clothing in America,  and I really hate it here.  So we went to a few stores and said child refused to speak to the salespeople.  Hello.  If you don't ask here you'll never receive.  You must speak up.  Anyway  we finally hit the last store where I said  buy something here or don't,  but I'm  done.  So after a few embarrassing moments of me asking the teenage sales girl to basically be my ulpan teacher,  (how was I to know how to ask to try on shoes? Hint  it's not the word for try or the word for do) we managed to try on some shoes and then we bought them.  Hallelujah!!! Also,  said child bought  a few dresses the next day.  So now I'm guessing she'll grow as well.  Come on five feet!

Baby boy child #4
Okay,  fine  he isn't  a baby.  But he is my baby.  Anyway,  this past week was exciting for us.  Last week he apparently had a little lecture /lesson from a soldier, during school.  Topic : what to do in case of a bomb.  Oh joy.  Who doesn't want that topic in their kids classroom.  Anyway,  the point is,  the entire thing was in Hebrew and he claims to have understood everything.  So,  ummmm,  yay I guess.  Then,  miracle of miracles.  On shabbat we were having artichokes.  And he looked at them and said  sure  I'll try one.  And he then proceeded to eat half of an artichoke.  This is a child whose normal vegetable consumption for the week is one pea per day.  I told you that Israel was the land of miracles.

So what is the conclusion? ( in case you were bored and skipped to the end)

#1  this sign @ is awesome
#2  apparently I'm a political magnet (not to be confused with magnate)
#3 Kids have a ton of independence that I'm pretending I'm comfortable with
#4 I hate shopping here even more than I did in the USA
#5 apparently if you wait almost 11 years your kid will eat a random vegetable
#6 this is still the land of miracles.

And as I was about to publish this,  yet another "this could only happen to me in Israel"  moment happened.  I was dropping off one child to meet her carpool for a class she takes in Jerusalem each Sunday.  Taekwondo sparring to be specific,  because we wouldn't want to do something that doesn't include risk of injury.  Anyway,  I go to drop her off in the parking lot where she is supposed to meet.  Only the entire parking lot is full, must be parent teacher conferences or free donut night.  And it is designed in such a way that I can't even turn around when I realize it is full.  And my giant for Israel car can't do a K turn.  So I have to back up all the way out of the parking lot and into the busy street.  It's almost as bad as gd forbid seeing a spider. Obviously,  I lived to write another blog.  Danger is everywhere here!  (that's a joke mom)

First time for everything

Several exciting things have happened in the past week.

#1 Had my first little gathering /party in my house.

#2 Attended "Lord of the Dance"

#3 Working on other foreign languages

#4 Emailed a member of Knesset


Let's begin with #1:  L'Chaim

This past shabbat was the 25th anniversary of the hubby's Bar Mitzvah.  It was also a few days after his birthday and we have yet to host a party,  so we decided this was the time.  Now,  I almost sent a WhatsApp to our neighborhood group,  but then I remembered that there are seriously a lot of people in that group.  Instead,  I decided to enlist the help of a friend,  who seems to have the role of neighborhood organizer.  I asked her if she could invite the usual people that we meet with every week on shabbat.  This was two fold.  First,  this way I wouldn't leave anyone out from the usual group.  I'm notorious for that,  so apologies to everyone I've done that to in the past.  Always unintentional.  The second reason was so that I wouldn't have to send a Hebrew text to a lot of people where they would all be seeing my grammar.  Instead I just sent those to one person and I let her sort it out.

Anyway,  all went well.  One neighbor made a few deserts and I made and purchased enough deserts and liquor for about thirty people,  even though only about ten were here,  plus kids.  We had a nice little l'chaim,  kids had fun playing with the neighbors,  and my ulpan class was pretty happy to receive the leftover cake.

#2 Lord of the Dance
I have always wanted to see Lord of the Dance.  I lived in NYC for a few years and then very close to the city.  But rarely went to see anything.  Apparently I needed to move to Israel in order to catch a performance of this show.  Well,  let me tell you.  It was amazing. My ulpan bestie ordered tickets for six of us,  and we had a fun adults night out.

And by adult  I mean that we acted like teenagers at the ice cream place.  Then we got to the show and acted basically the same.  This included the part where the men came out without their shirts on.  Let's just say that I was sitting on the second row and I got quite a view.  I'm very cultured now.  I'm just saying that I sat through a lot of scenes where the girls were barely wearing clothing.  So when the guys came out without shirts,  the woman two seats down from me started furiously clapping and whistling.

And they asked everyone to put their phones away.  Which is the opposite of what my friend behind me did.  Because all of a sudden after the show she had about twenty pictures. So now I'm stealing her photos to share with you.

#3  Working on my other languages
Okay,  I get it that it's winter.  And I'm probably next.  But my Ulpan class is seriously like the hot zone.  Everyone is always coughing and sneezing.  I've mastered how to say Bless You in English,  Hebrew and French.  And apparently saying it in Dutch is the same as Yiddish.  So now I've moved onto learning how to say it in Ukrainian and Portuguese.  Because don't you think I should bless everyone in my class in their native language?  Well,  let me tell you.  My family might have Ukrainian roots,  but apparently I don't have a knack for Ukrainian words.  But on the other hand,  the two girls teaching it to me had a few nice laughing fits.  Us dumb Americans! I did a bit better in Portuguese.  Good thing I have many opportunities to practice in class.  I can't say that ulpan teacher was that pleased to hear us doing this.  But we reminded her that we were speaking in Hebrew,  so yay us!

#4 Knesset
If you've been reading my blog,  you are well aware that I have an odd fascination with Sofa Landver,  minister of absorption and aliyah.  Or whatever her exact title is.  And you know that she was invited to a building dedication tomorrow in my town.  The building where I attend ulpan is a new building and they are  holding this whole ceremony tomorrow.  Anyway,  I was told that she was invited but that she is not coming.

I was not that pleased with that answer,  because I really like her.  So,  yesterday I decided to take matters into my own hands and send her an email.  I went onto Facebook and found her page and sent her a message.  We'll,  lo and behold, she messaged me back.  My first message from a member of government.  The following is our conversation.  Excuse the grammar.  I am in the red.


שלום!  אני סטודנטית באולפן במודיעין.  לפני חודש/חודשיים,  ראיתי אותה ושמעתי אותה ביום העולה.  אחרי הטקס הזה,  אני חושבת שאת החברה הכנסת הכי טובה.  אני יודעת שאת הזמנת לחנוכת הבית באולפן במודיעין.  אנו נהיה מאוד מאוד   שמחים אם את יכולה לבוא.  14  בדצמבר תודה לך

תודה רבה על מילים חמות. לצערי לא קיבלתי הזמנה. בהצלחה. הצלחתכם היא הצלחתי

חבל שלא הזמנת.  הם אמרו לי שאת הזמנת.  אנו מדברים כל הזמן על הדיבור שלך.  תודה רבה.

You can Google translate it if you want.  Basically,  I told her that I am a new immigrant studying in ulpan and that I heard her speak on Aliyah Day and that she is now my favorite member of parliament.  And that I know she was invited to this building dedication and that we would be so happy if she would attend.  She thanked me for my words and said that she was not invited to come.  I replied that that is a shame and that I talk about her speech all of the time.

Now,  getting back to me.  I know that it's 2016 and it isn't that unusual to get a tweet or a message or whatever from a member of the government.  But this was my first time (except for when George Bush the elder sent me a fake letter for passing the presidential fitness test in elementary school).  So yay me. Hopefully I'll get her to come to an event in the future.  מגיע כפיים!

Overcome your fears, or not.

It's been a while and y'all are probably desperate for an update.  You're probably thinking,  "What has Arielle been up to in ulpan?" Mostly same old same old.  But of course I have a few highlights.

First,  we officially live here now.  Because we hung up our sign.  Sorry neighbors,  you're stuck with us.  If you're wondering what that hole in the wall is,  we think it might be a warp zone to another time.

Word of the week: להתגבר.  It means to overcome something.  Remember this word.

First to my dear ulpan bestie.  We are seriously going to get either kicked out  of ulpan or promoted to the next class.  For example.  The class was doing something and we were working on something else because we were finished.  Anyway,  we come to one exercise,  where we had to write the conclusion of a sentence.  "I wish someone would invent....."  So she is next to me and talking to herself as usual.
(Back story.  She has some food allergies)  And I hear her say in Hebrew,  "I wish they would invent borekas" ,  and I turn to her and say,  "what,  without sesame???"  (because sesame is sprinkled over the entire country) Well,  as it turned out she had said  something about BRCA,  but that was it.  The two of us were busting it and could barely control ourselves.  And my wish for an invention wasn't so lofty.  I just want a robot to do my housework.  This is one example of a typical day for us.  Never fear though,  we are learning a lot.

The above photo is a tribute to Sofa Landwer,  my favorite government official.  Please come to the chanukat habayit in Modiin at my ulpan.  Today I promised my teacher that if you come,  I'll dance a hora.
https://www.knesset.gov.il/mk/eng/mk_eng.asp?mk_individual_id_t=78

This week we started the celebration for hubby's birthday.  Yay,  now we are the same age again.  Since I really don't know how to shop here and the return policies aren't my style,  I don't shop unless absolutely necessary.  He got his birthday gift while I was in America.  You all hopefully remember what happened to keep the first time I went to the mall alone???  Of not  go back and re-read the early blogs,  especially if you enjoy laughing at idiotic things people (me) do.

Anyway,  in honor of his birthday,
 התגברתי על הפחד. I got over my fear and hit the mall.  That's right.  Because he doesn't really like cake but he loves  donuts.  This is true love.  And hallelujah its donut season here people.  Hide your diets and bring out your stretchy pants.

In other news,  the kids all went to a scouting event this week.  Two thousand religious scouts from all over Israel got together and did who knows what.  All I know is that my kids had a blast,  there was a bus there and it was near my house.  And I got a mini date with the hubby out of the deal.  Also,  hello,  2,000 Jewish kids just getting together on a weekday afternoon.  Amazing!  This is why we came!

Braved the supermarket again on a Thursday,  only because tomorrow there is some 10k run here in town and the streets are closed,  and I'm hosting a dessert gathering tomorrow night so I need food and booze and Krembo.

 It all was going so well at the market,  AKA  no one talked to me,  I found everything on my list,  and they had smiling cat cheese. I even picked a good line.  And then the cashier started in with the questions.  Dear everyone.  Stop asking me questions that aren't on the list of questions that I know.  I'm just going to pretend I understand and then answer No.  Because once in 1996 I didn't understand the falafel guy's questions so I kept saying yes.  Until I ended up with a falafel with harif.  So now I say No if I don't understand.  This isn't a great method FYI.  I definitely need to get over this part.
  לא התגברתי היום.  Tomorrow is another day though.  Someone please ask me questions that I understand. But at least I saw this at the market.  Whatever it is.

If you can't beat them, join them (sometimes)

I'd like to start this by saying that Israel has just been through  some devastating wild fires. Some seem to have been natural and some seem to have been arson.  Please support any organization that you deem worthy to help out with this crisis.

And now,  on a lighter note.

So I've been pondering this one for a while.  Since we have been here we have gotten all types of interesting comments.  They range from,  "wow,  your kids seem so Israeli already,  you guys are calm like Israelis,"  all the way to,  "you guys are too American,  that's so American."  so today's post is dedicated to the numerous people who make random comments.

And these of course don't include the hundreds of comments I received when I had twins and then when I  had 4 kids in 3.5 years.  Those ranged from the totally inappropriate to the hilarious.  "How did that happen (ummm)  Do you have twins in your family (we do now),  Which one is the boy?"  Etc....

But that's a story for my book.

Ways in which we (think we) are Israeli :

* I allow my 9th grade child to hang out in the park with friends well past midnight.  This is not something I would ever do I'm America,  but apparently this is done here so he goes.

* My kids all ride their bikes or take public transportation to school.  In America that wouldn't be happening.

* Today my youngest child (5th grade)  was running from school to catch the bus.  He tells me that the driver didn't open the door so he just banged on the door and yelled. Who is that child??

* The way we stand in line.  If the line is slow,  we have to move to the side to investigate.  I didn't know this was an Israeli thing until a friend happened to mention it.

* Here in Israel,  the traffic lights flash yellow again before turning green.  If you don't have your foot off of the brake by the time you see yellow,  expect honking.  So now I'm all, omg,  it's yellow,  move it Arielle!

The ways in which we are American :

* I like to mind my own business. Israelis do not. But it's (almost)  always with good intentions.

* Please stop talking to me in line.  I don't actually know you,  but more importantly,  I don't understand your lightning speed Hebrew.

* I take my big kids with me on trips.  (and they like it,  and I don't actually care if they don't)

* I'm all about the please and thank you,  which to be fair Israelis are as well,  just to a lesser degree.

* I'm not abrupt.  I get to the point in a slow round about fashion.  Israelis just generally get to the point and move on.

* probably tons more that I can't even think of.  But please don't point them out.  My American feelings might get hurt.

Other news from Israel :

My girls just returned from their school overnight tiyul.  Where did the school go you might ask?  Well,  of course,  Masada and Ein Gedi, AKA, the two places that my girls have now been to three times in a year. At least they knew the way!  But they had a great time,  despite some nerves.  Climbed Masada and climbed down in one piece,  didn't get eaten by a wild animal,  slept in a cool tent room thing,  took selfies and ate candy (and Israeli tiyul tradition that I've been clued into)  and returned home full of smiles and dirt and omg  I hope not lice.

Addendum.
I thought that I would publish this last night.  Good thing I didn't.  Because another new thing happened : Scouts had an event,  going to see auditions for the show "Rising Star,"  and the big kid went.  He was fuzzy on what time he would return home.  Well,   he rode his bike back from where the bus dropped them off and arrived home at 12:35am. I only texted him once to check for signs of life.   Changes!

Leaving on a (5) jet planes...

Well,  this sure has been a whirlwind of a week or so.  I did a surprise trip to America,  to Texas to be more specific.  My brother was having an engagement party and my wonderful husband told me that I should really go.  So,  after a few weeks of searching for tickets,  I was all set to go.  My brother knew that I was coming,  but the big plan was to surprise my parents who were also flying to Texas for the event.

To make a long story short ; success!!  It was such a success that my dear mother almost fell off of the escalator when she saw me.  I am that striking I guess.  Note to others.  Maybe don't surprise people on an escalator.

Of course,  I can't just have a regular trip.  It has to be interesting.  Here are a few bullet points only about my travels.  The actual trip seems well documented on Facebook already.  But I will mention that while in Austin,  Texas,  I had my hair cut by a Persian woman who was overly excited to meet someone Jewish.  Apparently her husband has Jewish neighbors (I'm assuming in Iran) and he always told her that Jews are very nice people.  I try!

Anyway.  Travel highlights :

ISRAEL  - JFK -  AUSTIN
+ aisle seat on flight to New York
- teenager next to me had no sense of personal space
+ kosher food went off without a hitch
- almost spilled my water when I heard the flight attendant explain to an Israeli that the kosher food was blessed by a rabbi.

+ on flight to Austin,  there were three Israelis
+ I told the one next to me that I felt like he was sent here by my ulpan teacher
- he half smiled and then went to sleep.  So no Hebrew lesson for me

AUSTIN - ATLANTA - PARIS - ISRAEL
- needed to pay for a second bag because I might have done some shopping
- both bags were then overweight,  by a lot
+ I totally MacGyvered those bags at the delta counter and made them both weigh 51lb
- which meant that my carryon weighed about 40lbs
+ plane back home was overflowing so they asked for volunteers to check their carryon bags
+ boom,  now delta had to deal with my extra heavy bags anyway for free!

+ I'm old enough to drink alcohol on the plane
- pretty sure the Russian flight attendant thinks I'm a lush
+ but she brought me extra mini liquors as a souvenir
+ Paris has a massage place in the airport (highly recommended)
+ latte is a universal word
-  I have zero sense if what a Euro is worth,  so it was monopoly money
-final flight home from Paris to Israel included a couple smooching next to me
- and the guy kept drumming on the tray  and he wasn't even good at keeping the rhythm
+ they finally fell asleep
+ back home and it's like I never left

Israel :
I had my first experience with getting to wait in the Israeli passport control line.  I was pretty excited at this new development.  Because now I'm officially Israeli and I have the travel documents to prove it.  But that excitement turned to panic.  "omg,  I'm in the Israeli line.  So they'll assume I'm Israeli.  And what if they ask me questions in Hebrew and I don't understand them and I seem suspicious." And then it was my turn.  They just looked at my documents and at me,  and didn't even ask a question.  They didn't even comment about my name,  telling me that I have a boys name.  I was actually sort of disappointed.  But since I'm Israeli now,  I just acted like it was no biggie.

Come one, come all

Oh gosh.  So much to share.  Let me begin with saying that this week,  Monday was designated as a new holiday, (Yom HaOleh) basically the day to celebrate all of the immigrants to Israel ,  all of those that have made aliyah.  Modiin's absorption department sent a bus of us olim (immigrants)  to the celebration in Jerusalem .  We had no idea what it would be  but we were told that Bibi Netanyahu would be speaking.  I have always wanted to see him in person ,  so I was sufficiently excited.  And then I heard that Natan Sharansky would also be speaking.  If you were a child in the 80's, then you likely attended many rallies in support of freeing the Jews of Russia .  Well,  now I got to see the main man.

Okay , so we go,  and we are waiting in the "line"  (scrum) .  In front of us is the senior center and behind us is a huge group of soldiers .  So of course ,  my ulpan beastie and her mom (Bubbie)  start chatting up a group of soldiers.  I was distracted by this man behind me who had a full chest of ribbons from military service .  Turns out they were from the Russian military .  Okay then,  that was unexpected .

Anyway,  there was some embarrassment when someone thanks the soldiers for their service  but uses the word for bathroom.  (I promise it wasn't even me this time) .  So lots if awkward laughs.  But then it turns out that actually you can use this word (confirmed by slightly scary but handsome security guy) .

So we are still waiting outside.  Luckily  someone from my class had brought her harmonica.  She starts playing and the soldiers and a bunch of us newbies begin singing and clapping .  Where else does that happen ? ? ? ? Thanks for helping us out  you young people and thank you for your service (and also for bathrooms ,  we like those ) .

We get through security eventually ,  but while in more security lines,  same person begins chatting up some men in the next line.  She was curious where they were from.  Turns out they were new immigrants from northern India .  So she welcomes them to Israel .  But it turns out they have been here a year and a half and we are only here for three months.  So then they welcome us to Israel ! ! !

Finally we find our seats ,  except not exactly because apparently our ticket said we were in the balcony but we didn't know that.  So we basically just joined the chaos of finding seats and sat down somewhere .  And it's a good thing we did because we were nice and close to Bibi .

I'm trying to keep this short so stay with me.  A band is playing ,  people are dancing and stealing each other's seats,  many many languages are being spoken ,  and Jews of every ethnicity ,  shape,  size and color are there .  Then the emcee announces the dignitaries .  You would think they were rock stars .  They walk in to music and with spotlights following them.  Everyone is up and cheering.  Very exciting !

My selfie with Bibi .  He spoke so well that he turned into a ball of light and smoke .

Now the speeches.  Bibi of course is a very polished speaker.  He spoke ,  I understood most of what he said.  Oh  did I forget to mention that the entire event was in Hebrew ?  They did have a few announcements in French   Russian and Amharic .  But not English .

After Bibi,  the minister of defense spoke ,  Avigdor Lieberman .  He was almost my favorite speaker of the evening. His basic message was this.  Israel has about six million Jews now.  But the rest of the Jews need to come here and make Israel even stronger.  The United States has over five million Jews.  We need to come and make Israel our home. I just felt like he was speaking from the heart .  So please no one burst my bubble .

Thanks Natan Sharansky spoke.  We all noticed that of course Bibi was surrounded by security ,  as was the minister of defense.  But then poor Natan Sharansky got up to speak and not even one security guard .  So Sharansky spoke as well with a similar message.  And then finally,  my favorite speaker of the night took the stage : Sofa Landver.  She is the minster of immigration and absorption .  She was basically the highlight of the evening for me.  And it wasn't even her message .  It was her style.

Here is a basic summary .  Sofa says something , pauses,   and a handful of  people applaud .  But apparently she was expecting more .  So she says ,  yes,  you can clap.   Then she says something else and didn't pause because she wasn't expecting clapping .   But as the clapping begins ,  she stops and says,  yes  bring the clapping !  And my favorite .  During another awkward clapping or not clapping time ,  she says , Nu  where is your clapping ,  come on!

Well,  we (maybe just me)  just couldn't stop loving her after that.  I mean,  maybe it's one of those "you had to be there " moments,  but you'd need to live here to do that ,  so nu ,  where are you ? ? ? Overall,  a great night of speakers ,  dancers,  singing groups,   video clips, tons of energy and balloons and streamers falling from the ceiling .  All in a room filled with immigrants from all over the world .  Including the Brazilian olim sitting next to me who were less than thrilled that Brazil wasn't mentioned.

I definitely don't want to turn this into a speech on why you should make aliyah.  I mean  look at me.  I was first approved for aliyah in the year 2002,  and didn't make it here until 2016. I get it.  It's hard to leave family and the comforts of America .  But whenever you feel like aliyah is hard or you're having a tough adjustment ,  or you aren't sure if you can change your life to live in Israel,  watch  a few video clips and photos from the Ethiopian immigration to Israel .  Because those images (aside from making me cry )  make me think to myself.  If they can do it,  then so can anyone really.

I definitely felt all the feels at Yom HaOleh,  and so that is a successful program.  In conclusion.  At least consider aliyah.  You probably won't end up in my amazing neighborhood,  but I hear that a few other good Jewish neighborhoods exist here in Israel.    Remember that many have come before you and will likely come after you,  as long as you get on it so you're not last.  After all,  there is a housing crisis over here.

Victory victory that's our cry....

Okay.  So it has been a while (one week but okay)  since my last blog .  I'm sure you've all been waiting to hear about our next adventures.  Fear not, for there have been adventures.

Last time I did an update,  I highlighted the boys .  So this time here is a bit of a girls update.  Both girls have joined the school band.  One plays the bass and one plays the drums.  And yes,  one did ask me if we could bring the drum set to and from school.  Ummm  that would he a no.  But we did compromise on a snare drum for performances .

One girl also decided to join the sparring team for Taekwondo .  Which means she now travels to Jerusalem every week to practice with them.  We have a little  carpool to Jerusalem with the coach bringing them back here.  Let's see how this new element goes.

Basically ,  since we made aliyah, the kids have been trying to do as many activities as possible so that I never have a quiet night.  I'm pretty sure it's an elaborate plot to make me forget the glory days when they all went to bed at 7pm. I mean,  okay,  back then I always had at least three in  diapers and a stroller that needed its own zip code.  But at least they went to bed early and I had some alone time.

Oh yeah.  And one had this assignment to bring in something that has to do with someone's name in her class.  She picked a person whose name means dew.  Well,  apparently they don't sell mountain dew around here .  So plan B,  after asking other people,  it turns out the name also means curls .  So curly bisli and curly lollipop win out.  Yay for projects that are hard enough in English,  let alone in Hebrew .  But at least she was able to walk to the store without me and take care of it.

So there girls.  I do care about you and I wrote about you.  Sorry that you're both middle children !

Now,  you're probably wondering why you haven't heard more about my awesome neighborhood .  That's because I was saving up for a big update.  This past shabbat ,  we went on a shabbaton .  That's right.  We all went away together for shabbat.  Okay,  not all of us,  but a group of us went away together.  Someone who wasn't me did all of the planning and I just got to go.  I'll be playing that new Olah card for a while.

Anyway,  Friday we drove down to Ein Gedi. Most of the people went on this long and hard and hot hike. That was group #1 and that included my husband and children.  I,  however ,  went with group #2. Group #2  had a lovely tiyul at Nahal David,  aka what people refer to as Ein Gedi.  We had a nice walk in the warm weather,  saw the water falls, and then we had a lovely and very informative class given by one of my neighbors .

You know,  we just plopped down on a rock and opened up our Tanach (Bible)  and read and translated a story we that happened very close to the spot where we were sitting.  Even though that's not my first time doing that,  it's amazing every single time.

Okay  so after our mini tiyul ,  we headed out to lunch.  Because ,  well,  it was a vacation ! I met some nice people who I didn't know before and one of them treated us to lunch . Thanks group #2!

Then the whole group reconvened at the field school for shabbat .  The short story is that we had a really great time.  The kids all played with each other .  Some of them actually spoke to some other kids who they don't really know.  The kids ate plenty of candy,  ran around ,  and basically had a  blast.

One of th residents of the field school .

The adults also spent time hanging out.  Jon and I lost pretty terribly at a trivia game.  I mean,  the questions were all in Hebrew .  So by the time we understood you question,  someone had already answered it.  Maybe next year we can get a few more correct .  However ,  I did get to be the one who translated a word into Hebrew that some other English speakers didn't know.  Thank you story about Petach Tikvah that included  the Hebrew word for swamp.  You made me sound super smart .

Okay,  who is ready for an ulpan update.  Or not really an ulpan update,  but rather a successful outing based on what I've learned in ulpan update .

Yesterday ,  I went to lunch with my ulpan bestie .  My youngest child who normally finishes school before 1pm ,  has a club on Mondays .  So it's my day where I have some time to myself.  Anyway,  we have a lovely lunch where we order half in Hebrew ,  half in English and half in hebraicized English .  פייש אנד צ'יפס was on the menu.

Anyway, then we decide to peruse the stores in the shopping center because I don't even know what's there.  After a few stops ,  we go into a judaica store to buy a few things.  Long story short ,  the owner is totally my new bestie .  Why you may ask? ? ?  Because first,  he didn't make fun of my Hebrew or switch to English .  And next.  Because he asked us how many years we've been in Israel .  And we laughed and said,  years? ? ? ?  We've been here only just 3 months.  Well ,  if he were from the southern states,  he would have likely uttered my favorite phrase of,  "well,  butter my buns and call me a biscuit . " Or in Hebrew I guess my 2nd favorite Hebrew phrase ,  " אני בשוק ! "

He said he was very impressed with our Hebrew.  So of course we had to tell him about our teacher,  and how she has taught us (almost) everything we know.  Then he goes on to tell us that he sees Americans who are here for users and barely speak Hebrew .  Exactly.  He has totally nailed one of my aliyah fears.  Must overcome fear by speaking Hebrew to random people and being super nerd in ulpan.

So there you go.  Ulpan is working.  Yesterday was the first day where I felt brave enough to really speak Hebrew . Then I took my newfound bravery to the hardware store and tried my luck there .  But since I didn't know the word in English for what I was searching for,  let alone the word in Hebrew ,  that was mostly a comedy scene .  But whatever .  Whenever I feel down about my Hebrew ,  I'm totally going back to see my new bestie in the judaica store.

English, עברית, Francais, etc...

Hopefully you aren't yet bored hearing about my ulpan adventures .  I'll just assume that the rest of my class is having as much fun.

Let me begin with the new and improved make-up of my class.  The Americans have slid way down on the list.  And this week we have had a lot of new students joining us.

England -1
Canada-1
Mexico -1
Brazil -1
Moldova -1
Holland-1
Ukraine -1
South Africa -1
Australia -1
Russia -3
United States -3
France -6

Lucky for me,  I already speak English .  Hebrew is my second best language.  I speak a super basic medical Spanish (basically,  do you have pain ,  here is your stomach ,  do you have diabetes ,  etc. . . . ,  ) I now know about four words in Russian,  thanks to ulpan.  I studied 4 years of high school French and basically ,  that's where this story is headed.

I studied French for four years of high school .  I even went to France with my Marching Band.  Because we were totally awesome ,  and before you make fun,  marching band was totally the best part of high school .

Anyway ,  at some point, I spoke passable halting French with an awful accent and a limited vocabulary.  My father always told me to study Spanish ,  but there was no way I was going to do what my parents suggested !  Well,  finally finally  I feel justified in taking French .  Because my Hebrew ulpan is chock full of French speakers. And they are all kinder about my French than my French teacher ever was.

Okay,  I actually don't speak French anymore .  But I remember a few things here and there.  But so far (and I say so far because it can only get better from here )  I have learned how to say "bless you"  in French ,  so I say that a minimum of five times a day.  And yesterday,  we were split into small groups to have a discussion on a very interesting topic.  But the topic was eclipsed because someone in my group didn't understand what I was saying in Hebrew.  So I busted right into that French and said,  "tres dificile . " That's right.  Once again I have mastered the art of the many languages.

It's also possible that yesterday I called someone a manyak,  which was probably not the right choice .  But it's in Arabic,  so I just can't control my command of so many languages .  So,  okay,  my teacher said to use the word meshugah .  So fine then.

I did take in semester of Arabic back in college,  when I somehow managed to convince my guidance counselor that I was a sociology major with a concentration in middle east studies.  Actually ,  I just wanted to take Arabic but needed it to count for something as I couldn't afford courses outside of my major.  I'd like to relearn how to read Arabic and to say more than one actual phrase.  Right now I only know how to say what translates as ,  is today a day of onions in a day of honey.  So far,  I've never needed to use that !

Moving on.  In addition to my truly amazing progress in my many new languages   I also learned two Russian words today and promptly forgot them.  Maybe tomorrow they'll come up again.  One never knows what might happen in ulpan .

Now,  onto what some of my kids are up to. Leor's school just started a sort of program of electives.  On Sundays,  during the school day he is taking two classes that he was able to choose.  What did he choose.  Well,  woodworking   and something that he loosely translated as gardening and landscaping  but he says is actually neither.  Basically,  he told me that yesterday,  he and a bunch of other kids spent the period using pickaxes to break up a bunch of rocks that they had to move.  So he is living a 10 year old boy's dream!  And I'm sort of like.  We'll sure you do that during school.  Because,  Israel??

Then he proceeded to tell me that he basically understands everything that his teacher says.  Well,  that's a change since up until now he claimed that he didn't really know what was going on.  We shall see how this progresses.

Next child update.  Actually ,  an update on my first child.  You know how sometimes,  you feel like steam is going to come out of your ears because your child lives in a filthy cave? And you're kind of yelling but trying not to yell?  Yeah,  me either.  Okay, so that wasn't happening (wink wink).  Then,  said child called the bike shop to discuss repairs needed to his bike.  He calls,  speaks to them only in Hebrew ,  with a pretty good accent .  He gets off of the phone and I compliment his accent .  Except I said the word wrong  so he tells me that I just complimented his key.  Ouch ! ! ! That hurt !

Continuing along with the theme of languages.  Every day I am surprised when I hear these "new"  "Hebrew" words.  Such as, ספציפי ,  מודרניזציה ,  נורמלי ? ? ?  I mean,  it's easy for me to understand in class,  but I think if I use the word ספציפי again in class my teacher will make me stop.  Everytime one of these words come up,  we get a good laugh.  And by we,  I mean just two of us.

And finally ,  my last story of the day.  I've been struggling to use slang.  Or not even use it but to understand it.  So today I asked my teacher how to use my favorite slang phrase,  חבל על הזמן .  Which,  if you watched the video from a few weeks ago,  you know literally means,  shame on the time.   But it's slang,  so it is used in several different situations .  Anyway,  I asked my teacher to help me learn how to use it.  So she gave me a lengthy explanation including several example which didn't really clarify it.  But wouldn't you know it.  Not even ten minutes later,  the perfect opportunity fell in my lap,   and  I used that phrase perfectly (confirmed by my teacher ).  After a few (okay,  just one)  fist bumps in class,   I then went back to my usual situation סיטואציה in class which was trying to fit in words like סיטואציה .  Just another day in the life here !

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

Ah,  acharei hachagim ,  the magical time I have heard so much about.  It seems so mysterious .  For a month or two,  everything has been revolving around,  acharei hachagim ,  after the holidays.  We'll,  today is the day after the holidays and nothing has happened yet.  But it is isru chag,  so maybe the magic happens tomorrow ? ? ? Okay,  it was isru chag when I started this post.

First let's take a moment and check out this awesome picture Jon took while waiting for the bus this week.

Okay,  post chagim updates .

Let's see.  The girls birthday has finally ended.  Their birthday lives on for weeks every year.  We had two cakes,  a cake made of pastries ,  and candles that were sparklers .  Because ,  Israel!

Sukkot was really fun.  Having extra days of Chol hamoed is really nice.  And for the first time ever,  we were all home together .  Normally,  Jon can't take off any extra days for Chol hamoed because most of his vacation days are dedicated to the chagim .  But now we are  in Israel ,  and his office is closed for the chagim.  This is a huge life change for us.  So we took some fun outings on Chol hamoed .  The kids favorite one of course was the beach.  They have been begging us to go,  but we didn't have a car that we could all fit into. Did I mention that the beach had a sukkah ?  That's right !

Also,  I must mention my new bestie from ulpan.  She held a party over sukkot and invited the whole class.  We had loads of fun,  and it is always interesting speaking in  a mix of Hebrew and English in a big group.  Luckily our teacher was there if we needed help with words.  But I must say that the funniest and most informative part of the night was when the South African classmates gave us Yankees an English lesson.

Curious what a BBQ is called in other places?   In Israel it is called a mangal or Al ha eish.  Which means,  on the fire.  In South Africa,  apparently it's called a Braaii,  or something like that.   Have you ever wondered if a car horn is called the same thing in other English speaking countries?  Well,  it's not.  Apparently in South Africa it is called a hooter .  Like,  stop honking your hooter.  Imagine me hearing this after having one drink.  That's right.  You're welcome.

Finally on Wednesday the kids went back to school .  I think we are  all semi happy to be back in a routine .  Of course,  I just decided that we are all going to a soccer game tonight with Nefesh B'Nefesh,  so we will get home very late and be out of routine.  Oh well ,  shabbat is soon.

You are probably waiting for an ulpan update and I won't disappoint .  Finally we are back in ulpan and my teacher is back.  She was out for a few days before vacation.   So we are all trying to get back in the swing of things.  Since the first day of class, we have been working on using certain proper words instead of easier or more common words.  So today when someone used the wrong word ,  my teacher was like, " oy,  no no no,  not like that,  you say it like this.  That other word is the word you use in this other situation .  Anyway to make a long story shorter,  it led me to sharing (over sharing )  one of my favorite Hebrew phrases that I must have learned when I was here for the year.  It's hot in Israel ,  so you always need to remember to bring water with you on long walks or hikes or whatever .  Here it is.

פיפי צהוב לא טוב .  פיפי לבן מצוין .

Well,  after that,  I wasn't sure if my teacher was going to burst out laughing or make me sit in the hallway.  In the end,  she informed me that I know that only because I'm a nurse.  Ha.  And that my friends,  is some real world Hebrew for you.  You're welcome.